Guest Author - Previous BellaOnline Editor

Angelina Jolie appeared on the Today Show this morning to promote her new film Taking Lives. As it often does with female stars, the conversation turned to how on earth she can juggle all the things in her life – career, charity work, and MOTHERHOOD.

Up popped a photo of a smiling Jolie with her adopted son from Cambodia. When Ann Curry asked how being a mother had changed her life, without hesitation she said, “It has made me a woman.”

It begs the question, what was she before?

Now don’t get me wrong. I am in support of adoption, and I think it’s wonderful for women to have children – if they want them.

My objection to her statement is the belief that motherhood is the true path to becoming a woman, that those of us without children aren’t REALLY women, and that fulfilling your destiny on this planet is hopelessly intertwined with breeding.

Her comment was in stark contrast to the beginning of her interview where she talked about the roles she has chosen to play in her career. She said she sees women as strong, feminine, intelligent, and sexy. And if a character isn’t all of those things, then she isn’t “enough of a woman for her to play.” No mention of motherhood. Period.

I think it is important for all women – parents and non-parents – to embrace who we are at our very core, and to express ourselves with the talents we possess that make us unique.

For some, that may mean having babies. For others, it may mean giving birth to art, music, dance. It may mean breaking the glass ceiling and leading a Fortune 500 company. It may mean practicing medicine, becoming a lawyer, writing books.

There are literally millions of things that can “make you a woman.” Motherhood is not the answer for all of us.

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