A Cautionary Tale
By J. J. Riley (permission kindly given to reproduce this poem)
It seemed the thing to do
And raise some money too
For the whole group quilt would teach us many things.
And there before our eyes
We could visualise the prize
And the fellowship that work together brings.
The members look to me
As their sort of own Queen bee
They assumed I’d be the one to take the lead.
So I did not hesitate
I know how to delegate
As I counted out the officers we’d need
To everyone’s delight
I selected colours bright
And our pattern was one everybody chose.
I wash to test the dye
It would really make you cry
For our crimson turned a lovely shade of rose, (separately fortunately).
As I used my tricky cutter
I had a little mutter
Against expensive fabrics printed just off the grain.
But I cut with all dispatch
And I didn’t miss a patch
And I’d never say “I’ll do that job” again.
I was really very flattered
When I found it hadn’t mattered
That I was new and hadn’t patchworked before.
They told me not to worry
For there really was no hurry
For once started I’d be hooked for ever more
My job was to assemble
And my knees go weak and tremble
On recalling all those blocks of many sizes.
So make dimensions very clear
Or pretend you just don’t hear
When they ask for volunteers to sew the prize.
Now I don’t want to boast
But my quilting is the most
And my team of quilters had to get it right.
Yes! We had some little hitches
And some really funny stitches
So I learned to quilt a decent stitch at night.
At last it was complete
It looked really rather neat
We raised money, for this prize will never fail.
But we made one big omission
Justice department’s permission
And we wonder “Will they let us quilt in jail?
**** The names of quilting members have been changed to protect the innocent!)
I'm sure we can all relate to this story!
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