Now that you’ve started down the path to financial security you’ve probably had the strange experience of talking to a confirmed spendthrift who simply can’t believe that people can really live within their means, and actually save money. Spenders think that people who live frugal lifestyles must be in serious financial peril or completely destitute. Oddly, once you’ve saved and acquired some item they are also the first to complain. I think that this is very strange, and that these people are very sad souls. I hope if you are new to the concept of thrift that you don’t let these nay-sayers get in your way on the path to financial freedom.
Negative forces against thrift can vary greatly. One force against thrift is people so deeply in debt that they feel there is no way out. They feel completely hopeless against the creditors who badger them. Often these sorts of problems are actually easiest to deal with as they can be solved with debt consolidation and a budget which does not acquire new debt.
I had several people contact me who are reading these columns who have serious financial problems which require specific solutions, so if you are in serious financial trouble please write me at:
frugalliving@bellaonline
or better yet, check out the Legal and Debt Consolidation links I’ve posted. No matter how bleak it seems, most debt situations can be resolved in a relatively short period of time. Legally written plans of payment or debt consolidation can get creditors off your back quite quickly. If you are in trouble please check out those links!! To get some inspiration, check out the links at:
http://hometown.aol.com/dsimple/times.html
which detail the journey from debt one family took after having three premature babies in a row. Like the people in the movie "John Q," they had a cap on their health insurance which only paid a limited amount of the huge expense having a child stay in neo-natal intensive care can bring.
More insidious are the social forces which actively attack thrifty lifestyles. They sap the will to control ones spending and blend in with the Buy-It-Now pressures all people in Western cultures experience. These people will never understand why you like to buy your clothes at thrift shops and garage sales, or why you eat foods with generic labels. They don’t understand why you flick out the light when you leave a room, or prefer to email rather than send paper. I suppose one can do a certain amount of "missionary work" trying to explain your self to people like that, but mostly I’ve found "never the twain shall meet." Some people have a value system, or personality type that feeds spending and some don’t.
One approach you can try with negative people is to say that you don’t see your self as cheap, but as AN EFFECTIVE SPENDER. I don’t usually bother with this anymore, but people more sensitive to social pressure or in jobs where there is pressure to display wealth can try this tactic.
Another is to simply not mention that you bought a great silk suit at a thrift shop or the rummage sale at the rich people’s church. You simply blend in without the fanfare.
You can start to socialize with people who value thrift and give you positive reinforcement for your efforts to be thrifty. If this means changing churches or joining a different social club then maybe you should consider this step.
For instance, " J" had a job in a office setting in which most people were expected to dress a certain way, drive a certain car, and join the boss for lunch around a large reserved table in a restaurant. It was very plain people who didn’t suffered at raise time. So even though she would preferred saving the money, she had to eat out at lunch, wear clothes of a certain style she didn’t much care for, and drive to work rather than walk.
If her boss had been a different sort of person I would have suggested just being frank with him about her need to save, but he wasn’t that sort of person. We devised a plan wherein she would skip one or two lunches a week due to "last minute emergencies" right at lunch time. She started to buy her clothes at some more upscale thrift shops and a local business woman’s clothing exchange. She kept her car in good repair since it was paid for rather than buy a new one. When she experienced some negative commentary about the lack of a flashy new car, she simply explained that she was saving for a very flashy model.
Since I approach many of these questions from my background as a therapist I really had to ask "J" why she working in a place where she was so obviously unhappy, and if she was her independent, thrifty self, would be a very bad fit in the corporate mix. Her long term plan was to switch to another company which used independent brokers. So when the time came to make the job change, she had good references and was known as a "team player" since she hadn’t rocked the corporate boat.
While this a very young urban professional example, I think everyone who practices thrift in this spenders culture of ours will run into some similar problems a few times. Hang in there. Quite frankly, it can only get better.
Continue to check out the informative and inspirational free sample pages at these excellent frugal books.
Complete Tightwad Gazzette
The Complete Tightwad Gazzette
Declare Your Finanacial Independence
Declare Your Financial Independence
Complete Cheapskate
Mary Hunt's Complete Cheapskate
Miserly Moms
Miserly Moms
You Can Afford to Stay Home With your Kids
You can Afford to stay Home WIth your Kids
