Guest Author - Kathie LoMonaco
I hope all of you are starting to make plans for a wonderful summer. Whether you'll be cruising, snorkeling, camping, driving, or whatever it is you are doing this summer - even just kicking back on the porch and having a thirst-quenching lemonade -- it all sounds good to me.
This article is going to be a 'miscellaneous'-type article as I would like to touch base on a few things and not just stick to one subject this week.
I have received some emails from my viewers giving me feedback on my articles on "Infidelity", and also relaying some of their trevails that they are presently going through. I'm also checking the traffic to each article I have put on my 'Midlife" site, and by far and away the topic of 'Infidelity" is hotter than a hot potato - the proof is in the traffic figures I am seeing. There is a lot of heartbreak going around - but, even so, the women I am hearing from are very strong and determined. They are not sitting idly by and being made to feel like victims (who have no choices) - they are making educated decisions about what they want and where they are going.
Wandering husbands are a tough breed to tame - they usually have too much inner baggage to work on, and in a lot of cases, they don't want to admit they have a problem. Take for example the actor, Michael Douglas. Yes, he is now happily married to the gorgeous Catherine Zeta-Jones. However, only a few years ago, he entered into a program for sexual addiction during his last marriage - to try to save it after his first wife found him in a hotel room - with her good friend, no less! And, to top it off - in the same town where they lived! It was apparently one of Hollywood's worst-kept secrets. He was running around so blatantly - with such arrogant, reckless abandon -- how hurtful! This has been well-documented. Just recently, I came across this same story apparently being recirculated about him for some reason.
Getting back to Michael's marriage to Catherine, there is some type of agreement in the pre-nup he has with her, where she gets something like One Million dollars for every year they are married, and, unless I am mistaken, some kind of a 'bonus' type payment if he is found cheating on her. But, then, he'd have to be out of his mind to cheat on her. In all seriousness, it's not about looks, it has to do with an emotional and psychological problem. And, this is a major problem that does not go away after a few hours in a program. I frankly feel you can more easily get an alcoholic to quit drinking than you can reform a man who is a 'serial cheater'. But, that's just my opinion.
As I've mentioned before, I've had my share of experiences with these type of men - and it's no picnic being lied to, deceived and left at home to anguish over why things have gotten so out of control; because, you are the one being left at home with too much time to think - while he is out having a jolly good time for himself. Of course, at times, you cannot help but feel like you're being played for a fool. But, you women out there who have been reading my column - are very savvy and you are taking care of business and just biding your time in some cases until you have all your ducks in a row - and then, whammo, by the time your 'significant other' has realized he looked the other way just a little bit too long, the 'fat lady' will already have sung! Bravo to you. No victims here. Just smart, shrewd women who are quick on the uptake to size up a situation and decide how they want to proceed - and it is no easy decision - I know.
And, speaking of control - I believe that is one of the issues in this type of situation - control. If you check out my other articles, you will see an article I wrote on 'control freaks'. They are one of my biggest pet peeves. Quite honestly, they are more than simply a pet peeve of mine. Control freaks push every button I have.
Now, on to another topic. Has anyone checked out Bellaonline's new "ebook" section? Check it out. I am coming out with an ebook myself in the next week or two, hopefully. These ebooks have been written by the Hosts of the various Bellaonline topics/sites. Give them a 'look-see' - I think you will be pleasantly surprised at all the talent here at Bellaonline.com.
Hope everyone had a great Memorial Day weekend -- and now on to the summer!
I'd love to hear from you. Drop me a line and let me know your thoughts - on any subject - whether it is something I have written, something you would like to see me write about, or just something you'd like to put out there for discussion, let me know. I love hearing from you!