Life verses lifestyle, what do you choose? This is one of the major questions many gay and lesbian people ask themselves all the time. Why do we choose one or the other? Why does it even make a difference? Let’s look into what the two words really mean first of all.

Life is defined simply as: A living being, as in human, or Actual environment or reality; nature. Whereas Lifestyle is defined as: A way of life or style of living that reflects the attitudes and values of a person or group.

So when we look at these two definitions, one could surmise that Life is natural, whereas lifestyle is a choice. It goes back to the old adage, nature verses nurture. So why am I discussing the differences between these two things?

In the gay lesbian community, our sexual preference is often referred as a lifestyle by heterosexuals. Why does this matter what heterosexuals think or call of us? It matters because when the word lifestyle is used to describe me, I take offense. I think the person that I am implies that this is who I am. I didn’t choose to have baby blue eyes, or pale skin, nor did I choose to be male. At the same time I didn’t choose to be a gay man. I was born a gay man, and I will die a gay man. So, if I was born this way, wouldn’t it simply be my life? Yes!

When we look at heterosexuals, we see those holding hands, kissing in public, breastfeeding their children, making sexual remarks and innuendos to each other, and we/they find nothing wrong with this. But turn that image around and imagine its two women, or even two men. When it is this, the heterosexual world sees it as something that is not natural. They see it as a lifestyle choice. When it is homosexuals, it is lifestyle, but when it is heterosexuals, it is simply their life.

So what does this rant really mean to say? It is very simple, in fact. We Gay and Lesbian people are simply living our life. We do not choose to be who we are. In fact, the only choice we have really made in regard to our sexual orientation is this: We chose to believe in ourselves enough to admit that we are in fact queer, and we choose to live our life in a manner that reflects who we are from the beings of our soul.

The next time you hear, read, or see Lifestyle in reference to Gays and Lesbians… straighten them out. Tell people we are living our lives, not a simple lifestyle. Smoking, drinking, partying, where we live, what job we hold, what car we drive… these are lifestyle choices. Being gay, and who we are inside is living our Life!

Life, not Lifestyle!

Jase ;0)

Jason P. Ruel
Editor, Gay Lesbian

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