Guest Author - Previous BellaOnline Editor
Isnít it interesting how often we hear that weíll regret not having kids someday, and yet no one ever tells an expecting mom that she might regret her decision? Regretting parenthood is taboo in our society, and few people are willing to admit that they wish they didnít have kids.
I am always dumbfounded when people continue to pressure people who donít want children into having them. Why would they encourage someone who doesnít want kids to bring a child into this world?
Dr. Phil recently did a show on women who ďcanít stand being a mom.Ē Some of these women even let their children know that they regret having children. They were afraid of becoming abusive parents, they resented the time parenthood required, and they blamed their kids for their unhappiness. What a horrible environment to grow up in!
Of course, no child should be made to feel like they werenít wanted. But immediately, I question why these women had children in the first place.
Could it be because society bombards us with the message that WOMEN MUST HAVE CHILDREN? And that there is something wrong with us if we donít want to become a mother?
What if these women had realized, in advance, that they didnít have to become a mother to have a meaningful life? What if they had found a support network like Married No Kids? Would they have had kids anyway if they realized they had a CHOICE?
Of course, there are those who truly did want children, and the reality of parenthood just wasnít what they expected. I donít know what to say about that. I know the reality I see in my friendsí households now, and I donít want that to be MY reality Ė EVER!
If youíre on the fence about whether or not to have kids, then you absolutely shouldnít have them. At least not right now.
You can always change your mind down the road if you decide you do want kids. But itís a lot more difficult to admit after the fact that you donít really want the kids you have. It isnít fair to them, and you canít change your mind once youíve chosen that path.