Guest Author - Previous BellaOnline Editor
Isn’t it interesting how often we hear that we’ll regret not having kids someday, and yet no one ever tells an expecting mom that she might regret her decision? Regretting parenthood is taboo in our society, and few people are willing to admit that they wish they didn’t have kids.
I am always dumbfounded when people continue to pressure people who don’t want children into having them. Why would they encourage someone who doesn’t want kids to bring a child into this world?
Dr. Phil recently did a show on women who “can’t stand being a mom.” Some of these women even let their children know that they regret having children. They were afraid of becoming abusive parents, they resented the time parenthood required, and they blamed their kids for their unhappiness. What a horrible environment to grow up in!
Of course, no child should be made to feel like they weren’t wanted. But immediately, I question why these women had children in the first place.
Could it be because society bombards us with the message that WOMEN MUST HAVE CHILDREN? And that there is something wrong with us if we don’t want to become a mother?
What if these women had realized, in advance, that they didn’t have to become a mother to have a meaningful life? What if they had found a support network like Married No Kids? Would they have had kids anyway if they realized they had a CHOICE?
Of course, there are those who truly did want children, and the reality of parenthood just wasn’t what they expected. I don’t know what to say about that. I know the reality I see in my friends’ households now, and I don’t want that to be MY reality – EVER!
If you’re on the fence about whether or not to have kids, then you absolutely shouldn’t have them. At least not right now.
You can always change your mind down the road if you decide you do want kids. But it’s a lot more difficult to admit after the fact that you don’t really want the kids you have. It isn’t fair to them, and you can’t change your mind once you’ve chosen that path.
