Guest Author - Previous BellaOnline Editor
One of the most frequent questions I receive in my inbox is “how can we find other couples who don’t want children?”
It is tough to find people to hang out with who share your love of the child free lifestyle. But there are some places you can go where you might make a new friend that has time to spend with you instead of going to soccer games and PTA meetings.
Try these ideas for meeting child free friends:
1. Seek out the closest No Kidding! group and JOIN IT! If there isn’t one in your area, then START ONE! This group was created to help child free couples and singles find each other in this family-centered universe. Learn more about the group by clicking on the link above right.
2. Get involved in adult activities where kids are not likely to be present. Join an evening bowling league, a woman’s club, Kiwanis, Rotary, etc. There are bound to be parents there, but you can look forward to weekly or monthly meetings and outings where they just can’t bring their kids. Stimulating conversation is up to you.
3. Don’t limit yourself to making friends who are in your own age group. For those of us in our 30s, this is prime child-bearing time! Finding child free friends is not easy at this stage of the game. Instead, seek out older couples who have grown or teenage children. They might be experiencing a “rebirth” of their relationship before kids and are probably looking to get out of the house for some child free entertainment again. They may not want to go bar hopping with you, but you can certainly have dinner and see a movie with them. Most of the people my husband and I hang out with are old enough to be our parents! But they are cool people, and we have fun spending time with them.
4. Try some of the things I’ve previously recommended for finding a mate who doesn’t want kids. Take a class. Join a professional organization. Start a book or movie club. You can meet people in a variety of child free message boards and forums. But ALWAYS be cautious when setting up face to face meetings. Don’t go alone, and always meet in a public place.
5. You don’t necessarily have to find couples who are child free – you just need to find people who are interesting, aren’t obsessed with their children, and are willing to hire a babysitter once in awhile. Although our friendships have certainly changed a little, not every new mom friend of mine has dropped off the radar screen. The ones I have remained close with have many different interests, so we still have lots of things in common. I don’t keep in contact with the ones who want to talk about diapers and childbirth all the time. Our lives have definitely gone in different directions. And there’s nothing wrong with that. Relationships of all kinds come and go in this life. People change and move on.
Even after all of the tips above, sometimes you just won’t find a huge group of child free people to hang out with. If you can find just one or two couples with whom you can go out and have a good time, then you’re doing just fine! Remember, it isn’t the quantity of friendships you make – it is the quality that counts.
