One of the wonderful things about AP is how participatory fathers can be in the parenting process. Really, about the only thing they cannot do is breastfeed, but dads can be a part of the breastfeeding experience too!
Before the Birth
Even before birth fathers can begin bonding with their babies. Dads can read to baby in utero which will make baby familiar with his voice and intonation. Making it a daily practice could be the start of a loving, familiar routine that continues on through childhood.
Actively learning about parenting prior to the birth is another way to be involved, and something that will ensure you and your partner are co-parents who are both informed and knowledgeable. Think ahead about the choices that will have to be made during and shortly after the birth experience, and make it your duty to research the options thoroughly without relying on your partner to do it for you. Do your homework on topics like birth options and labor choices, health care providers and labor assistants, c-sections, epidurals, family-centered care, circumcision, vaccination, and breastfeeding . The last months of pregnancy can be stressful , and having an enthusiastic and educated partner involved in the decision making process is invaluable to a mother to be.
Early Days
Immediately after the baby is born dads can take a proactive role and become an advocate for mother and baby, making sure they are not unduly separated and helping to promote bonding. See that the choices you both made continue to be respected and remain fully informed about any medical intervention that may be suggested. Spend as much time as you can together as a new family before letting the world intrude. If the birth occurs in a hospital, find out what the policy is on having fathers room-in, and try and stay with your partner and new baby.
Learning to breastfeed can be made easier by a supportive dad . Get to know the reasons why breast milk is the best food for babies, and encourage your partner when she is feeling negative and doubtful. Let her know that you are there for her, and create a calming and relaxing environment to facilitate breastfeeding. Something as simple as offering a glass of water to a nursing mother can help.
The family bed is yet another way for dads to bond with their babies. Staying close during sleep promotes bonding and is great for nursing moms. It can also be a good way to get a little more much-needed sleep, since you are right there to respond to baby’s needs, making a return to sleep much quicker.
Fussy babies may enjoy being rocked and carried by their dads. This is a good way to soothe your baby and let him know that you are a source of comfort and security.
Settling In
As your baby grows, continue to be enthusiastically engaged in all aspects of care giving. Spend time playing and talking to baby, and let your baby be a part of your world too. Carry your baby with you while you do things around the house, and try using a sling or other style of baby carrier. Babywearing is as terrific for dads as it is for moms, and of course, babies love it!
Continue to encourage breastfeeding, and learn about the benefits of extended nursing. Help your partner feel secure and comfortable when nursing in public, and educate family and friends who may be less than supportive.
Respond to your baby’s cues, and trust your instincts when it comes to parenting decisions. Try and keep conventional wisdom in perspective, and seek out some of the newer research that’s available. You can find attachment parenting books at your local bookstore or library, online, or at parent resource centers.
Keeping positive discipline in mind as your child grows, nurturing your partner and working together to create a gentle and loving home environment are wonderful ways of being an AP dad!