Guest Author - L. Drea Strasser

So you've found someone and decided to get together for a date. What do you do now?

If you're anything like the rest of us, you're probably excited and a little nervous. This is normal. After all, what if she's the one? Will you know immediately? Will angels be singing as you picture your kids together taking an afternoon stroll through the park?

There's the first trap. It's a first date! Slow down! Relax!

While it's true that your mind and heart may race eighty miles per second, keep in mind that now is the time to learn what you can and see if she even deserves a second date. It's not about her being perfect or a good person (although that's a good thing), it's about whether she's good FOR YOU.

Figure out what your criteria are for a mate before you go out on your date. Does she need to be educated? Does she have goals? How does she spend her free time? Do you need a social butterfly or a stay-at-home type? These are just some examples, of course.

Think about your own short and long-term goals. As you progress through the evening of your date, make mental notes about how she could fit with your plans. Would she help you reach them, or would she distract you? Would she interfere? Again, this is only a first date. You may not figure out these things until you've spent some more time with her.

All in all you should think about your first date as a fun fact-finding mission. If you learn as much as you can early on, you'll lay the groundwork for a future without surprises.