Guest Author - L. Drea Strasser

So you’re out with a beautiful woman. You’ve been excited about this get together since it was planned. You’re imagining the future with her in it. Then it hits you…what if this isn’t a date to her? How do you know?

1. She said, “Would you like to get together for a date?” Okay that one’s obvious. But what if she said,”Do you want to get together for coffee?” That’s a little trickier. You need more information.

2. You mention that you love horseback riding and she says, ”I love riding, but I haven’t gone in a long time. We should do that sometime.” That’s a sly way to suggest another date. Meaning that you’re currently on one.

3. She bought your coffee. This one’s hard because either she’s a)loaded and showing off, or b)you’re on a date and she wanted to pay. The chances of her showing off that she’s got money are, realistically, pretty low if you travel in average circles. She could’ve done it because you’re broke and she knows it. The only way to decide whether she’s generous or it’s a date is to see if there are other signs. I don’t believe in coincidences. If it has a beak, and two feet, and feathers, AND “quacks”, it’s probably a duck, of you get my meaning.

4. She’s dressed up. Now think about how she normally dresses. If she’s fancier today, it’s probably a date. If she looks like she just rolled out of bed (and doesn’t provide a reason for her attire), chances are it’s just a drink.

5. She talks about dating, relationships, the future…all good signs. If she mentions her ex, probably still good. If she won’t stop talking about her ex, not only is it probably not a date, but you should run. Fast.

6. She asks you to do something else after your coffee date. Think: take a walk, see a movie, go to her place. All signs of a successful first date. Just proceed with caution. Taking things too fast could signal the countdown of remaining dates.

Take things slow. Relax. Don’t get so overwhelmed trying to look for signs that you miss the experience. You could miss the signs right in front of your face! (Like her leaning in to kiss you….sign of a date.) With some practice, you’ll figure it out without even trying to figure it out.