Guest Author - Gwenn Schurgin O'Keeffe, M.D, F.A.A.P

Have you ever had trouble getting your toddler to sleep? If so, you are in good company. A typical scenario I hear about is the toddler who goes down easily but wakes up a few times a night. Often there are multiple trips to and from the child's bedroom exhausting parents and the toddler. And, usually the toddler is quite independent - either in a bed or able to climb out of the crib. This can happen early in sleep or throughout the night creating a very long night at times.

What is reassuring is that mostfinicky toddlers become good sleepers. It is a true balancing act in how to intervene. On the one hand, kids this age do need a little reassurance that parents are still in the house. On the other hand, too much "help" from parents can create sleep associations that are difficult to undue.

Many parents don't find the Ferber method usful. Short of that, there are many other approaches. First, you could go cold turkey and just let her cry until she falls asleep. The more you do to longer this will continue. You could also try going in the room to reassure her but not touching her at all. Or, try the whisper through the door. One way to start would be to make a list of what you do when you go into her and slowly cut those things out. Who usually goes in, you or dad? Or Both? If she’s used to you, have dad go in. If she’s used to dad, you go in. If both, alternate who goes in.

As for the initial put down to bed, consider a gate on her door so she is confined to her room or a lock from the outside so she can’t open the door but you can. That may be the best time to go cold turkey.

You can also play with cutting her naps down and see if being more sleepy at night helps.

I’ve lived through with one of my daughters the very situation you are facing and I know how exhausting it can be. Since she is waking up rested it sounds like she is asleep for many of these crying moments. That can happen sometimes where a child has an arousal from sleep but is not fully awake. If I were you, I’d do what I could to not go in at all. She will eventually fall back asleep even if you have a few rough nights.

Finally,
Ask your pediatrician for advice. We all have different strategies and getting a few ideas can be helpful.