Guest Author - Kathie LoMonaco
We are hearing more and more about famous celebrities suffering from betrayal by a cheating spouse. Infidelity/betrayal, no matter how you slice it, is a painful pill to swallow. It affects the rich and famous - not just us mere mortals. Money doesn't buy you happiness, as the saying goes. But, no one deserves to be victimized by their own spouse. The ramifications of one person's selfish actions are so far reaching - the number of family and friends it touches becomes so painfully apparent in short order. Life interrupted. The world as you know it changes in a heart beat - a crushed and broken heart beat. It's like experiencing a death; death of life as you knew it. Now comes not only the grief but the stress of lawyers, finances, sitting the children down (if they are old enough to understand) to break the sad news; possibly also a sudden change in living arrangements/accommodations - the upheaval of it all.
If you're lucky enough to be financially comfortable, you or your spouse can make the physical break on a fairly quick schedule with separate living arrangements. For mere mortals living almost week to week on their paychecks, they must endure looking at the source of their heartburn day after day while decisions are made and arrangements are ironed out - hopefully with some sense of peace in the house and not a lot of bickering in front of the children.
When I keep seeing pictures of Christie Brinkley, for example, on TV day in and day out and what she must be going through - I put myself in her shoes and I just want to hunt down her husband and take care of him for her. Of course, I'm sure she is searching her mind day after day asking herself how she missed the clues - the red flags along the way; take heart, Christie, a lot of us have been there, gone through this heartbreak of the deepest deception and lived to tell about it - but at the time we were clueless as well - either consciously or unconsciously.
I think women, as a whole, are trusting - probably too trusting - until one day, someone misuses that trust to their best and sneakiest advantage - and they realize that, time and time again, they are continuously successful at not being caught with all their extra marital shenanigans - with their pants down, literally. It must give them some kind of a kick - like a small child with their hand in the cookie jar. Is it the thrill - the excitement of doing something that is forbidden?
I think the bigger picture here is -- how those women who have been hurt by these insensitive, unscrupulous, heartless heels, did not 'read' these men properly from Day 1. How were they able to slip under our 'better judgment' radar - get past our value system of reading/judging someone's character and then, after hearing maybe what we wanted to hear, or seeing what we wanted to see, allowing them into our hearts and our homes - ultimately seeing them in a far better light than they deserved to begin with.
ARE YOU IGNORING THE RED FLAGS?
-he's evasive whenever the talk turns to him, his family, his friends
-he clams up when you want to discuss his family, his friends, his career
-he calls you when it's convenient for him; he sees you when it's convenient for him (he's calling the shots)
-when you are together - he usually never mentions when he will be seeing you again (and you are so thrilled to be with him, you don't (or are afraid) to ask;
-his apartment is devoid of life - pictures, plants, color, maybe even furniture;
-he's in-between jobs
-in some instances (that is, if he's married) you wonder why he never offers to take you to his house (he has all kinds of excuses on why) - are you afraid to ask him where he lives??
-as time goes by, you feel like (or realize) he's fitting you into HIS SCHEDULE;
Christie's husband seems to be a real smooth operator, doesn't he? but, in the end, it looks like he outsmarted himself - and lost the best thing that will ever happen to him. Just desserts. How was this man able to disappear for sometimes mega lengths of time (to be with alleged paramour(s)) without his absence being noticed? maybe it was noted - and maybe he was a good liar - as in, away on business? Did someone say, jail time? -- as in, if you are soliciting minors, you go to jail - do not pass GO. Seeing the pictures on TV of his own separate hideaway allegedly used for these trysts, and also what the relatives of some of these 'girls' had to say, turned my stomach. And now there is talk of 'pillow talk' being revealed at one of the alleged paramours trial.
In the case of Christie's marriage, my own personal sense is that he was jealous of her and her fame. Of course, I could be wrong, but I don't think so. He wanted attention. Men cheat for all different reasons - but the crux of the issue is - that he is not worthy of you! You did him a favor for the time you were in his life! You legitimized this low life - at least for a time. He somehow made his way into your heart and home through his honed womanizing skills.
Perform a visualization technique by 'seeing' that a growth has been removed from your heart thus enabling you to go on with your life and thrive once again.
When I think about all the gorgeous, top named female celebrities who, in the past, suffered in their private life, romantically speaking, where time and time again happiness eluded them, it boggles the mind - Lana Turner, Marilyn Monroe, Jean Harlow, Debbie Reynolds - and their contemporaries, Christie, Jennifer Anniston, Heather Locklear, Vanessa Williams, Priscilla Presley - and the list goes on and on...
What about Kathy Griffin, the comedienne, who has a reality TV show right now called "My Life on the D-List"? She has stated on TV that she has broken up with her husband because he (allegedly) stole money from her. Now, while that betrayal has nothing to do with another woman - it is still a very serious form of deception/betrayal that hits at the very core of a person's soul; think about it - the one person you live with who you should be able to trust more than anyone in the world, you find out has been deceiving you when they were supposed to have your best interests at heart. Just because another woman wasn't involved, doesn't make it any less painful.
I am sure the world will never run short of womanizers - men who are lacking in integrity; selfish, narcissistic, self-centered; and don't confuse supersized egos with self-esteem, because this type of man lacks self-esteem - therefore, he must puff up his ego, often times through conquests (thus proving to himself how 'manly' he is); all this adds up to is a poor excuse for a man. I say - don't let the door hit you in the a_ _!
You've heard of the Scarlet letter? Well, I propose that these men be made to wear a "W" (for 'womanizer') that gets carved into their foreheads to stay for the remainder of their pitiful lives. It would be a lot easier on them than say, castration, don't you think?
Can you say - Loreena Bobbitt??