Guest Author - Jason P. Ruel
How far left of center is too left? How far right of center is too right? That is a question that Americans face every day. With the recent court battles both at the local, state, and national levels, one has to consider the implications that being left and/or right has. On one hand, being left of center is being pro (for) almost everything. Whereas being on the right almost means to be con (against) or conservative with everything.
So, how much is too much? Should we as GLBT people keep fighting the major battles for same-gender/sex marriage, or should we be settling for what we can get? Should we be fighting the small fights at the local and state level first before jumping into the deep end of the federal arena? Or should we just give up all together?
These are questions we all must ask ourselves and come to our own conclusions.
Letís look at the left idea of gay marriage.
When we think of marriage, we think of two people in love who wish to make an outward expression of their inward feelings. We see the rights and benefits that are associated with these expressions. We see walking down the aisle to be welcomed by all our family and friends to be joined forever (hopefully) with the one we love. We think of the party we will have after the ceremony and the days of bliss as we attempt to join two households to become one. Eventually we might think of the American Dream where we own a house, have a dog, white picket fence out front, and 2.5 children. Now let me burst your bubble, because if you happen to be a gay man or woman (gay, bi, lesbian, trans), donít expect this to happen... yet! Well, let me rephrase thatÖ Donít expect this to happen and be LEGAL. Well legal in all but one state (Thank you Massachusetts!). Sure, you can get a civil union in Vermont, and even Connecticut these days. Or go to California and have a Domestic Partnership. This is what you will have to settle for. And even if you do have a marriage, donít expect it to be accepted in another state. Heaven forbid we actually follow the 14th amendment and have full faith and credit. So throw out the hope of getting those 1300+ federal benefits of marriage. But this is what those left of center want to fight for... for equal marriage rights for everyone!
In the end, what truly matters? Love! And also whatever you wish to do. My philosophy is if it doesnít injure or cause harm to another person, then it isnít my business. But this idea is also faulted. The real concern is not only love, but the ability to love and share that love with someone no matter the gender.
Maybe the religious right should consider this when deciding what to fight against at all costs. Who's cost are they really fighting for?
In the words of Mary Manin Morrissey, "Regardless of its configuration,
the essence of what creates and sustains a healthy family is love."
BellaOnline's Gay Lesbian Editor