logo
g Text Version
Beauty & Self
Books & Music
Career
Computers
Education
Family
Food & Wine
Health & Fitness
Hobbies & Crafts
Home & Garden
Money
News & Politics
Relationships
Religion & Spirituality
Sports
Travel & Culture
TV & Movies

dailyclick
Bored? Games!
Nutrition
Postcards
Take a Quiz
Rate My Photo

new
Creativity
Family Travel
Southwest USA
Irish Culture
Home Finance
Comedy Movies
Romance Novels


dailyclick
All times in EST

Full Schedule
g
g Married No Kids Site

BellaOnline's Married No Kids Editor

g

Should You Have a Baby?

Guest Author - Previous BellaOnline Editor

For some, the child free lifestyle is a no-brainer. They don’t want kids, and that’s that. No amount of time, pressure, or thought is going to change their minds. They just know in their heart of hearts that parenthood is not for them.

But for others, the decision is incredibly difficult. One day you feel like maybe you want to be a mom, and the next day you can’t imagine giving birth and raising a child. Pressures sometimes feel insurmountable, and you begin second guessing your child free lifestyle.

Sometimes people have simply put off making a decision, saying that they will decide “in the future” if they wants kids or not. And that’s fine. Maybe biology will take care of it for you, if you put it off until your child bearing years get smaller and smaller in the rearview mirror. But chances are, at some point, you are going to have to take a look at your life and decide.

So how do you make that decision? I consider it the most important decision of your life. You can choose the wrong partner and get a divorce. You can change careers anytime. But once you have decided to have a child, there is no turning back.

I often tell people you have to be 100% sure that you want to have a child before you start trying. If you are even 1% unsure, you aren’t being fair to your potential offspring, your mate, OR yourself. Here’s why:

1. No child deserves to come into this world unwanted. Every child should be loved unconditionally by both parents. If you aren’t convinced you want to create a new little life, then you absolutely should not.

2. You and your significant other must totally, utterly, and completely agree that you want to be parents. You both have to want a child. You cannot pressure your mate to change his or her mind about becoming or not becoming a parent. It has to be something that both of you want, at your very core. If you haven’t started talking about it, do it NOW. It won’t go away.

3. To be true to yourself, you have to try to separate yourself from all the external pressures (easier said than done, I know!). You have to turn off all the voices in your head, including parental pressure for grandchildren, society’s ideal of the “perfect family,” and even your partner’s desires. The desire to have a child has to come from INSIDE yourself. If you are swayed by pressure of any kind, you may be making the wrong choice.

I believe that anyone who wants to become a parent should spend some time with kids. You should imagine yourself as a mother or father, and NOT just the Kodak moments either. Talk to new parents. Get the scoop about what life is like for them. Think about the sacrifices you will have to make. Are you willing to go through pregnancy and child birth? Days without sleep? The financial burden, change in your lifestyle, dirty diapers, pukey tummies?

If you have been on the fence about having a child, then you have to go through this process before making a final decision. Some people have known all their lives that they want to be parents. If that is you, then great! Go out and start a family!

But if you have doubts, you can’t just jump into parenthood blindly. There are lots of things to consider.

Will you regret not having kids someday, when it is too late? Maybe. But isn’t it better to regret NOT having kids that to regret HAVING them?

Remember, it is your decision. No one else can make it for you. Think long and hard about it. It may be the most important decision you ever make.

*****

Check out the subject heading “Maybe…Maybe Not” on the MNK homepage for more resources to help you decide if kids are for you.
This site needs an editor - click to learn more!

Add Should+You+Have+a+Baby%3F to Twitter Add Should+You+Have+a+Baby%3F to Facebook Add Should+You+Have+a+Baby%3F to MySpace Add Should+You+Have+a+Baby%3F to Del.icio.us Digg Should+You+Have+a+Baby%3F Add Should+You+Have+a+Baby%3F to Yahoo My Web Add Should+You+Have+a+Baby%3F to Google Bookmarks Add Should+You+Have+a+Baby%3F to Stumbleupon Add Should+You+Have+a+Baby%3F to Reddit




Are Kids For You? Borrow One and Find Out!
Is There a Biological Clock?
You Don't Want Kids But Your Significant Other DOES
RSS
Related Articles
Editor's Picks Articles
Top Ten Articles
Previous Features
Site Map


For FREE email updates, subscribe to the Married No Kids Newsletter


Past Issues


print
Printer Friendly
bookmark
Bookmark
tell friend
Tell a Friend
forum
Forum
email
Email Editor


Content copyright © 2014 by Previous BellaOnline Editor. All rights reserved.
This content was written by Previous BellaOnline Editor. If you wish to use this content in any manner, you need written permission. Contact BellaOnline Administration for details.

g


g features
Archives | Site Map

forum
Forum
email
Contact

Past Issues
memberscenter


vote
Poetry
Daily
Weekly
Monthly
Less than Monthly



BellaOnline on Facebook
g


| About BellaOnline | Privacy Policy | Advertising | Become an Editor |
Website copyright © 2014 Minerva WebWorks LLC. All rights reserved.


BellaOnline Editor