Should a Gay Man and Straight Woman Marry?

This is a true story, though the names and location have been changed. Events happened to 2 of my dear friends in the town of Charlottesville, Virginia, beginning in the 1960s when both were students at the University of Virginia.

Betty and Robert started out as friends and over a 2 year period got to know each other better and better. Over time they came to share their hopes and dreams and studied together almost daily.

Betty was not too surprised when Robert presented her with the family heirloom diamond ring and asked her to marry him. Even though they had not had an intimate relationship, Betty said yes. She always thought Robert was the kind of guy who wanted to wait to consummate their relationship in marriage. And, after all, they were both Catholic and supposed to stay pure while single.

Wedding plans were made and 6 months later with a big family wedding Betty and Robert exchanged vows.

Later that very day after driving to the coast for a honeymoon is when the story began to unravel. And badly, too.

After leaving Betty alone in the motel room in late afternoon Robert left the motel and didn't return for 5 hours. Betty was very upset and couldn't understand what was happening.

After Robert returned Betty got into her romantic negligee and doing her best tried to get Robert to join her in bed. No go. He did everything to avoid intimacy. Betty was so disappointed and also ashamed that she'd just gone through a big wedding ceremony with a couple of hundred relatives who gave them nice gifts, that she just couldn't go home and report her less than one day marriage a failure.

Pulling herself together Betty suggested they go on a road trip instead of staying at the ocean. So they packed up the car and drove along the coast for a couple of days, before returning to their new apartment near the university.. The driving distracted them from sitting still and having a deep talk about their situation.

In fact, even after moving in together they kept very busy with their studies and filled the extra time with distractions.

Over the next 10 years they did have several sessions of intimacy resulting in 2 children. And then the fateful day arrived when Robert told Betty that he could no longer pretend to be heterosexual.

Betty was devastated and went to the local church pastor (not her own) for counseling. But, Robert wouldn't go to counseling so that was a dead end. Betty asked Robert why he wanted to get married in the first place, and he answered that he wanted a family.

The marriage ended in a divorce.

Now, I ask you to consider if you think it was justified for Robert to lie about his sexual orientation in order to have children?

This guest article was written by Susan Kramer, BellaOnline Learning Disabilities editor.