I was interviewed by the local television station on the execution of Saddam Hussein last Saturday Morning, and at the spur of the moment. These were my thoughts:

1) Disbelief and shock. Given the American Penal system and it's propensity for endless trials and appeals, I timelined that maybe by the end of the year they might enact the sentence. Maybe. I realize that the media reported it as a 'within 30 days' sentence. However in America, a death sentence is not generally seen through for years after the fact, and this was for a pre-eminent world leader.

I also do not watch a great deal of TV, so it caught me completely off-guard. It was nice. I like the element of being unprepared, I find it challenging albeit somewhat frightening. My hands were shaking. Overall, I was surprised at how upset that I was.

2) Upsetness. Well, sadness isn't exactly right and despair is a little too strong. But I was upset, and much. The first thing that came to my mind was the inevitable celebrations that would follow, and I just don't feel good about that. I think anytime we abandon our post as human beings and revert to blood-swilling vengeants, it's a lowering of the bar of sorts. This is not an easy admission, for certainly Saddam was a terrifying despot that destroyed a lot of lives. But body count for body count, I'm not convinced Bush is all that better.

I am not always a means girl, but neither do I believe that every end is always justified or justifiable.

3) Worried, then thrilled. It was a really good hair day. Even the reporter who interviewed me said so. I find it liberating, shameful and real to include how vain I was. Am. And that in spite of the fact that the situation was so critical as regards the events of the world, one of my chief concerns indeed was,

"But what's my hair look like?"

One day, I plan to conquer this completely and focus these attentions on things that really matter. Pray for me.

4) Uncertain. I mean, how should I feel? That was one of the things that flashed through my mind (but at least before the hairanoia), fumbling with my activist positioning. I was momentarily alarmed that I didn't know what all of the other activists were saying. Then I remembered this is why I rarely read other activist sites until after I've formulated my own opinions, because the herd mentality is so irritatingly innate. In this media centered day and age, it's crucial to strengthen the 'formulate-your-own-opinion' muscle on a daily, if not hourly, basis.

Tempting to fit yourself into all of the other little popular boxes, I know. But don't do it. The corners are brutal on the curvy parts. And the hair.

5) Decisive. I won't pretend that I can judge this as I am barely comfortable having an opinion on it. I'm a human being that has read libraries on the Holocaust, that has known and loved more than a few people that actually lived through it.. If you have not ever firsthand heard the stories of someone that survived Bergen, if you have never touched the tattooed arm of someone revealing to you their own horrific account, then you are ill-equipped to understand the depth of the suffering there (and even then). Schindlers List doesn't come close. But by killing the ones that are responsible for these crimes of atrocity, are we really answering the call of justice or simply perpetuating revenge? Solutions to this might be forcing them to spend the rest of their natural lives making reparation. Forcing them to do time in your garden. Something that brings more life instead of ending it.

It is not that I deny that there are people on this earth that the world would be far better without. I am just not convinced that there is anyone around capable enough of determining who that should or should not be. Life is sacred, and if we lose that in the quest for anything, then what is it that we are all fighting for?

I have heard it said that insanity is when you repeat the same action over and over again, expecting different consequences. Selah.

6) A little afraid. If the current unrest in the Middle East is akin to labor pains, then the water has broken. If we are not then absolute in our positioning, and absolutely confident in our authority and ability to enact it (read: stabilization), then this could be the straw that broke that metaphorical camels' back. Now is not the time for indecision, bipartisan diatribe, complete withdrawal or simply throwing more armaments at it. What we need now is focused intent and an empathy for tolerance. We need world leaders that are visionary enough to come together in a spirit of something other than greed, promoting something more than further conflict in collective consensus. We need answers and compromise. We need truth. We need unity.

We need peace as much as we need justice, if not more so. And what we really need are more women running this planet, considering its children. Hopefully it, and we, will survive long enough to see that day come.

But that is another column, dear readers, and for another time.