Every year it is the same.

Valentine’s Day comes, and my husband and I are stumped trying to think of a way to make it extra special.

But it isn’t why you might think.

We’re very romantic, hopelessly devoted to each other, and enjoy spending time together.

So what is the problem, you ask?

Even though Valentine’s Day is a holiday devoted to love, we spend so much time making each other feel special, this day doesn’t look much different from any other day for us!

On a random Tuesday night a few weeks ago, my husband was headed out into the cold to buy some vanilla because I had casually mentioned that his homemade chocolate chip cookies sure would taste good. (I have to be careful what I say around him, because he always looks for a way to make it happen!)

We go to bed early a couple of nights a week, just to be close to each other. We play our favorite CDs, turn the lights down low, and lay there in each other’s arms.

We eat dinner together every night, and since we work together, we are fortunate to be able to eat lunch together every day too. In general, I am in charge of dinner, and Chris is in charge of lunch. If he isn’t going to be able to eat lunch with me for some reason, he almost always puts a little note in my lunch bag, just to remind me how much he loves me.

We have “parties” for the two of us every month. We celebrated the Barrett-Jackson classic car auction with a slew of homemade appetizers. Ditto for the Super Bowl. We have romantic picnics on the living room floor for no reason at all, except to beat the winter blues. And we do it for real all summer long, finding a quiet spot on a gorgeous day.

We go out for coffee and treats on a Saturday night. We make plenty of special dinners at home, candles, wine and all. We go out to eat as often as we can.

And there are lots of little things he does to show me he loves me. For example, I am working on a book right now and am under a deadline. As I typed away last Saturday afternoon, he showed up with a hot cup of tea and a muffin for me. He even warmed it in the microwave.

Now, how can a Valentine’s card top all of that?

We got engaged on Valentine’s Day back in 1999, so of course this day means a lot to us. But we celebrate our love in so many other ways all year long, we don’t need to use a holiday as an excuse to plan something special.

Why do we have so much time and energy to devote to our marriage? Because we don’t have kids.

We can have regular date nights without getting a babysitter, worrying about a child’s cough, or being worn out from schlepping kids from school to soccer to ballet lessons and back again. We don’t have to make a separate dinner for the kids and stay up late making something for ourselves.

We make our marriage a priority, and there are few distractions that get in the way.

I am not saying that parents don’t make time for each other. I’m just saying that it is a little bit harder if you are exhausted from the daily grind.

I hope you enjoyed your Valentine’s Day. But something tells me there are a lot of you out there who come up against the same problem every year.

Isn’t being child free great?