Guest Author - Barbara Merkord

“I think I’ve reached that point, where giving up and going on are both the same dead end to me, both the same old song.” ~ The Cure

Yes, sometimes there comes a point in a relationship where you feel stuck; trapped between having chosen and not wanting to make (perhaps) another wrong decision.

So what do you do when you find yourself in this predicament? Well, that’s the easy part. It’s time to take a mini-vacation, even if it means staying anywhere else other than home for about a week.

A week seems to be sufficient time to work through the things that can’t be worked through when you are smack-dab in the middle of the situation. We all know that hindsight is 20-20, so do a little creative planning and use this time to see what it is like to be outside of the relationship, and yet not totally out of it. Sometimes all we need is a little space to clear our heads, to come back to center, to our selves, to see where the flaws are, and how to overcome them.

Another well known quote “Absence makes the heart grow founder”, has a spark of truth to it. Sometimes we get so used to our routines and the mundane that we became tepid and bored. It doesn’t mean that we have fallen out of love with the person, it simply means that its time to make some changes.

This, again, is where a little time a part can help. Join a group, make new friends, and volunteer your time, anything to get you out of the house and doing other things. You might be surprised at how much you really do appreciate and long for your partner.

Even if you can’t afford to take a week away, these little things can really help you to see whether or not you are in a situation that you want and need to be in.

The hard part comes when and if you decide that it’s no longer in your best interest to stay. Hopefully, it won’t come to that, but if it does just make sure that you have a strong support network to help you through this time in your life, and if at all possible try and stay friends with your partner, you have each given a lot of yourselves to each other and its best for everyone to stay on civil terms.