Guest Author - Gwenn Schurgin O'Keeffe, M.D, F.A.A.P

Waiting is a big part of life most days and one of the most difficult tasks for kids, and very trying for parents. Short attention spans, lack of understanding for the visit, fear of the visit, hunger, fatigue and sensing our unease with the delay all contribute to a very combustible situation. Whether the child is the patient or a sibling having to come along for the ride, any additional wait time just adds to our potential frustration.

Waiting rooms are filled with many types of parents and our waiting style impacts our kids directly. Looking around a typical waiting room, you’ll see 4 main types of parents:

1. the always in the office parent: laptop on and work being done
2. the travel in a pack parent: spouse and other kids in tow
3. the notebook parent: entire catalogue of the child’s medical record in tow
4. the distracted parent: other kids running around while parent reads or chats with other parents.

If you are a child with one of these parents, you have your own special set of issues to contend with during the wait:

1. The office parent. You are there to focus on the child – even if it means being a bit late for work. What message does it give your child to be working on his or her time?

2. The pack family. Unless a significant situation, why not tag-team and pass the information to each other later? That way one parent can watch the other kids and it will be much less stressful for all. I saw a dad reading while a small child was climbing office furniture and the mom was in the room with the other child and doctor. Dad could have been home and everyone more comfortable. In this case, the child kept pushing a truck into dad and dad got mad. How about putting down the paper and playing with the child. Can’t reading wait?

3. The notebook parent. Sometimes it is important to have all the records handy but if your physician has them, why trek them along. What is the purpose? Even for a second opinion, the visit may go better just with copies.

4. The distracted parent. See #2

Think about the waiting room, wait for the doctor and visit from a child’s perspective. The child may not be thrilled. The child needs your support.

One big no-no nowadays in waiting rooms – eating. Drinking is usually ok and formula for infants but too many kids have food allergies so keep food away for everyone’s safety.

Why do doctor’s run behind? Often because things are more complicated than expected. Often because urgent calls and visits need to be taken between patients. Keep in mind that most docs will give you ample time and the next person will also be late. So, come a bit early, expect a delay, tweek your expectations and help your kids through. The stress often comes in when you count on getting out by a certain time. Believe me, I’ve been on both ends of this mess and it is difficult for all. I’d love to promise you I’d be on time more but the nature of my work makes that difficult. Most of us strive to be thorough. Can’t rush that.

In many ways, how we deal with the wait has more to do with our ability to roll with the ups and downs than our child. Being realistic and thinking a head of your child’s needs will go a long way in making the situation reasonable for all of you.