According to the National Center for Health Statistics, the percentage of U.S. women who are childfree (i.e., women who have chosen not to have children) grew by 35 percent between 1982 and 1995. Why are more people choosing not to have children? Enjoying a high level of satisfaction with their childfree marriages is one of the most common reasons that married couples choose not to have kids.
Marriages of pre-kid couples and no-kid couples start out with the same level of marital satisfaction. Typically, the roles of both spouses are more equitable before having children. "Prior to children, many couples are able to have egalitarian relationships, dividing responsibility for finances and management of the home," says Leigh Leslie, an associate professor of family studies at the University of Maryland. But once children arrive, there’s more work and less energy, and usually the wife ends up doing most of the cooking, cleaning, and child care. That leads to a big decline in marital happiness.
Research studies support the perception of a decrease in marital satisfaction after having children. In 1997, sociologist Mary Benin of Arizona State University, Tempe reported the results of a long-term study of marital happiness. Tracking marriages over many years, Benin found a U-shaped marital satisfaction curve for couples that have children. Marital happiness for parents starts out high, declines with the birth of the first baby, hits rock bottom during the teen years, and then rises again to reach almost pre-kid levels only after the children have grown up and left home. Meanwhile, the marriages of childless couples remain as happy as those of pre-kid couples, and their relationships are more likely to improve steadily over time. Based on the results of Benin’s research, USA Today reported that couples in pre-kid and no-kid marriages are the happiest of all.
The rewards of increased time, opportunity, and money enjoyed by couples who aren’t raising children also contribute to greater marital satisfaction. Living without children gives a married couple more time and energy to concentrate on each other, which produces healthier relationships. Other important lifestyle benefits that childfree couples cite: more time for friends, family, community projects, and hobbies; more opportunity to pursue professional goals including full-time careers for both partners; and more disposable income to devote to other interests such as charitable giving, travel, and early retirement. For many people, these factors add up to more fulfilling lives, happier marriages, and greater marital satisfaction.
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