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BellaOnline's Midlife Editor


Grief and Grieving at Holiday Time

Guest Author - Kathie LoMonaco

At this Holiday season, my thoughts are with those who are suffering the unthinkable, especially when mostly everyone is joyous and counting their blessings during what is supposed to be a festive season; Christians and Jewish religions among others celebrating the birth of Christ.

The 'unthinkable' is suffering the loss of a very close loved one. Many people are suffering the loss of little Caylee Marie Anthony as so many have taken this little girl into their hearts and hoped for a miracle. It was not to be. There are a lot of heavy hearts not only in Florida, and in particular within her community - but also throughout all of America as we were constantly riveted when any breaking news on the TV screen would appear - hoping it would ultimately assure us she was found alive and well.

Sadder still is that a young life was ended heartlessly in what seems like a methodically and well-carried out plan. This precious child is not of this earth anymore - and the horror of the way she was tossed into a trash bag and dropped off to lie in a wooded, swampy area under a sweltering summer sun is painfully hard to fathom by any moral, decent person with a soul. There is no penalty that would be harsh enough and horrible enough for whoever carried out this diabolical and heinous act. The electric chair would be too easy for them. So would lethal injection. I wish they could bring back the guillotine, even if for just this one time to give the murderer of this child the appropriate send-off. No punishment could ever be satisfactory.

As far as the Anthony family - they will never be the same, none of them. The grandparents will never get over the pain or the remorse and guilt of not being in the right place at the right time in order to save her. If only....if only...; All too often we do not see something coming at us - we get blindsided. I believe we as people are basically trusting souls who do not anticipate that there are such diabolical minds out there - maybe even or especially amongst our own family. It just does not compute. As well, their son, Lee, will have to live with the memories of little Caylee both alive - and for the horrific way she died. How will he ever get away from the toxic environment - will he and his parents ever find out the truth of what happened to Caylee? Will they be prepared to accept the outcome, whatever that may be?

On a slightly different note, but on the same sad topic, my heart goes out to one of my closest friends who is mourning the loss of her dear, devoted Mother at this time. I wanted to say something briefly about her Mom as she was a great role model for me growing up. Her Mother was the epitome of what a woman should be - she was a class act; she worked hard; she always kept herself, her daughter (my friend) and her home immaculate. She was a woman you strive to emulate. She reminded me of the commercial that said something like 'you bring home the bacon, fry it up in the pan - and still never forget that you are woman...'; yes, that was her. I looked up to her - I wanted to be just like her. She wore her hair swept up in a stylish French twist and always wore tasteful earrings with a little dangle to them. So well-groomed. Always focused - always with nose to the grindstone. To lose someone you love is painfully hard enough at any point in time - to lose them at the start of the Holiday season compounds your grief. Every year as the Holiday season begins, you are continuously to be reminded of the loss and of the overwhelming sadness over and over again. My deepest sympathy to my beloved friend and her family who are grieving so deeply for her now.

For almost a year after my Mother passed away, I would from time to time reach for the phone - only to suddenly realize that my Mother was no longer there to call - when that realization hit me, it was such an emotional blow time after time. It took a long time to somewhat adjust to the fact that I would never speak to my Mother again. It was final. I could never have the conversations I wanted to have - I would never get to say the things I wanted to say.

My thoughts and prayers go out to everyone grieving a loss at this Holiday time -- and for All I wish you a Healthy and Safe Holiday.

Count your blessings.
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Content copyright © 2018 by Kathie LoMonaco. All rights reserved.
This content was written by Kathie LoMonaco. If you wish to use this content in any manner, you need written permission. Contact BellaOnline Administration for details.


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