Guest Author - Kathie LoMonaco
I am re-printing a popular article I previously wrote on the subject of abuse; whether in personal relationships or business arenas, abuse of any kind should not be tolerated - whether mental, emotional or physical. These types of situations and environments are toxic.
With regard to the workplace, Corporate America has looked the other way for far too long relative to their tyrannical COOs and CEOs who create hostile work environments and are allowed to brow-beat and demoralize employees year after year without being held accountable for their psychopathic or sociopathic behavior -- and the buck has to stop! It's time to stand up against these office 'bullies' as well as bullies in personal, intimate relationships who refuse to take responsibility for their actions.
With regard to the above topic - I know only too well about the subject of this (re-printed & tweaked) article first-hand. Whether in a personal arena or work place, I have had my share of abusive behavior from men in more than one area of my life. For those of you who are not familiar with the word 'misogynist', this word was coined for men who hate or dislike women intensely and have deep-seated anger towards them.
It sends shivers down my spine when I think of some of the horrendous situations I've been put in during my lifetime - both professionally and personally. Being at the mercy of an abuser, whether it be a superior at work or husband or live-in partner, makes a person feel helpless, powerless and many times feeling hopeless. The abuse of power by some men that I've come in contact with during the course of work has been incredulous to me - they usually enjoy making their victim feel diminished and demoralized. Their unleashed animosity is palpable as well as reprehensible. Usually these men are so emotionally immature that one wonders how they ever went as far as they did in the business world.
I'm not sure people realize how rampant this type of hostile atmosphere is in our society. It truly boggles the mind that these abusive types are able to hide their true personna - or worse, that their egomaniacal, psychopathic (or sociopathic) intimidating personality is ignored by the "Powers-that-Be" simply because these men are intelligent and have had the best in education. It's all about whether they could deliver the goods, financially speaking. Nothing else seems to matter. They apparently surrendered their souls or traded in their souls as they went on their unscrupulous way up the ladder toward their goals --greed and power.
And, when you have a man, or men, moving up the ladder running the proverbial ship with this kind of abusive nature - flagrantly exhibiting their abuse of power, it does not bode well for the company they work for - sooner or later their dysfunctional behavior will rear its ugly head and possibly make damaging headlines for their particular company. At some point they will meet their waterloo - they will slip up and expose themself(ves) for the type of person they really are - as their arrogant, cavalier behavior will ultimately show them up - then there will be a mad scramble for damage control - by then possibly too late to avoid damage to their company's reputation.
That's what happens when the 'Powers-that-Be' 'choose' to ignore the blaring red flags that pop up around these dysfunctional abusers either in their workplace or homelife. They actually are putting the 'pirate(s)' in charge of the ship! I wonder at what point this type of corporate honcho will finally be shown the door - how much collateral damage does it take to a company's reputation before that happens? It is usually rather typical in a male-chauvinistic type company that 'coverups' abound for these toxic tyrants. At what point is their bad behavior no longer tolerated? What has to happen for that to occur - I wonder.
If you add another element to their volatile and controlling behavior such as - alcohol - you have a recipe for disaster - at least at some point down the road. It cannot be hidden - nor overlooked - forever. But, I have seen this type of scenario and I have seen the 'Powers-that-be' look the other way while people (good, hard-working employees) got abused mentally and emotionally on the job and not a thing was done about it. They bowed to the egomaniacal tyrant who stomped around and tried to intimidate.
Employees know that when push comes to shove, they will be left holding the losing card as companies always stand behind Management. It's scary to know that some things never change such as companies backing up their Top Brass - keeping secrets and covering up for their problematic 'bad boys'.
Somehow these tyrants are able (or allowed) to fly under the radar with their machinations and manipulations while on the job. Their behavior should not be tolerated - ever - under any circumstances. It's unethical, immoral, anti-social and demoralizing behavior - not to mention completely UNprofessional! It impacts the people around them as it is psychologically damaging and can leave people scarred for life.
This 'pummeling' of a person's psyche leads to life-long disorders, such as 'Post Traumatic Stress Disorder'. When are these 'good ole boys' network(s) going to wake up and smell the coffee? Is tolerating the bad boy's (or boys') bad behavior really worth it? Think about that - while your CEO languishes in a jail cell for road rage, some type of reckless behavior or maybe even driving while intoxicated - racking up those D.W.I.'s - just hope that his latest faux pas doesn't somehow become public knowledge. The term 'loose cannon' certainly comes to mind. They wreak havoc not only on their own lives but on the lives of those that they 'choose' to wield their power over. Why? Because they can.
With regard to personal relationships, there are a few that come to mind right now - a few months back news stations were blaring the news that the singer known as Rihanna was allegedly hurt physically by her boyfriend, rap singer Chris Brown. He was released on bail saying that her 'true colors' will out. That is the crux of the matter right there. These immature men take no responsibility for their actions. They want to duck accountability. There is NO excuse. He cannot make it 'okay' because he offers an excuse. There must be ZERO tolerance for any man who puts their hands on a woman. Other names that come to mind whether we're talking emotional, mental or physical abuse - Charlie Sheen, O.J. Simpson, Peter Cook (Christie Brinkley), Tiger Woods, Jesse James, and on and on..
Unfortunately, mental and emotional abuse, which are just as insidious as physical abuse but harder to prove - go on day after day in relationships and in work arenas. I've witnessed it - I've been victimized by it. I've met pond scum. I've worked with these egomaniacal tyrants. These men don't get rehabilitated. They don't think they have a problem. They are condescending towards women and need to have total control and domination. They think that because they are in a position of power that they are above recrimination. The funny thing is - very often they are henpecked by their wives. Then, they go to work and take their frustrations out on the people who work for them. More often than not whether consciously or unconsciously, they choose people who are somehow more vulnerable -- i.e., separated or divorced women who need their jobs as they are sole supporters of their household.
Call it what it is - abuse of power! Immaturity and Insecurity - those are the key factors involved with these troubled men. They never developed emotionally past maybe 10, 12 or 13 years of age. That is why they act out and are very childish in the way they deal with most issues, business and/or personal.
If they have a problem with alcohol, then that wratchets the tension and abuse levels up a few more notches! Can you imagine that there are men such as this running major companies? They are Out of Control! S-C-A-R-Y, isn't it???
When will companies and their "Powers-that-be" wake up and realize that the egomaniacal, abusive, tyrant-type behavior on the part of their 'Top Brass' should not be tolerated, for besides being counter-productive for a company, it causes low morale, low productivity and a demoralizing, toxic atmosphere. These types of men are sabatoging their own companies as well as their own careers.
Who among you out there reading this - if you have a situation such as this, and YOU have the Power to do something about it - is going to take a stand against this type of injustice? When you allow this type of dysfunctional behavior to go on you are aiding and abetting the abuser. Refuse to keep looking the other way. Do something constructive about it. Whether in the workplace or in a personal relationship, if you refuse to tolerate it - it cannot keep happening! It's time to open our eyes and be more aware of the people we love who may be in this type of situation. Be an ear for them to talk. Help in any way you can. Be part of the solution - you can make a difference!
You can visit me on 'Twitter' as 'KathieBella'...