Guest Author - Jeanette Stingley
I have been trying to steer clear of this subject as an article but I have been emailed, messaged on Yahoo! Messenger, and asked in person what my thoughts and opinions are on this issue.
When I first heard about this story, I tried not to listen to the reports. I happened to be watching Entertainment Tonight one night and Rihanna�s injured face popped up before I realized what the story was going to be about. I was sick at my stomach. I saw that face in the mirror many, many times over the almost 5 years I was with my abuser. My husband, Chuck, saw tears welling in my eyes and he changed the channel.
Chris Brown talked in an interview with Tyra Banks about how he witnessed his mother suffer from abuse at the hands of his step-father. He said on the show that seeing what he did makes him think about and treat women differently. What did he mean by this? Did he mean he respects women more or thinks that he can get away with what his step-father did? If he saw this and knows how it affected his mother, why did he do this to someone he loves? Didn�t he think about his mother as he laid his hands on Rihanna?
Now over the past week we have heard stories about them reconciling and this is enraging people especially people who have never been in her shoes. Why would a victim take her/his abuser back? No one knows for certain and I am sure we never will. There are many, many reasons why a victim takes her/his abuser back. I took my abuser back 3 times before finally breaking free for good. She could be in a typical abuse cycle. Maybe he will change. Maybe she feels love for him so deeply we can not understand. Maybe he has her brainwashed like my abuser did. My abuser told me no one else would ever love me like he did because I was too ugly, too fat, had a kid, had an annoying family, etc. etc. There was always a negative reason in his eyes for me not to leave. I believed I would not make it without him for the longest time. We should not blame her for those bruises on her face. I don�t care what you say to anyone, you do not deserved to be hit.
Some good has come out of this abusive situation. Chris Brown is 19 and Rihanna just turned 21. This is causing a lot of dialogue between teens and young folks. It is also opening communication with parents and children about domestic violence. Domestic Violence is back in media attention. Oprah Winfrey had Tyra Banks on her show discussing the topic of Domestic Violence. There are news articles popping up everywhere about statistics and ways for women to get help.
So, I can�t be too upset about the situation. It is a shame this young beautiful woman is going through such a struggle. I would never wish domestic violence on my worst enemy. I am happy awareness is being raised. Maybe my daughter�s generation of women will be less scarred then I am.