Positive discipline is possible, even in a world where negativity abounds. The basics of attachment parenting are all about establishing a bond of trust with your child and giving them a place where they know they are safe and respected as they learn and grow. Discipline is very different from punishment.

When you truly discipline a child you are teaching them a better way, often by example as well as by instruction. Punishment is meant to frighten a child into behaving or to make the results of bad behavior so unpleasant that the child is reluctant to misbehave in the presence of the parent. The problem is, punishment does not teach self-control. So, when the parent is no longer around, or is busy and can't proceed with punishment at that moment, the child feels free to misbehave.

Discipline, on the other hand, is intended to teach children to make wiser choices and to control their own behavior. In the end, discipline works much better than punishment.

Think of it this way. You have a boss who yells at you when you are late, berates you publicly when your work is not done to their exacting demands, and occasionally they dock your pay, "for your own good." How motivated are you to please your boss? Sure, you may want to avoid the pain, but what do you do when the boss is not around?

Now, imagine your performance if you have a boss who praises your accomplishments, publicly shows off your best work, and occasionally offers you an afternoon off when you work extra hard. How hard would you work for that boss? When the boss was out of town, would you still show up on time and work hard?

The first boss is using punishment, the second boss is using trust and positive reinforcement. When we treat our kids with respect, they want to do the right thing and will work hard to earn praise and trust.

I was a nanny for 5 years. Parents would often react with awe when they saw that I was able to get good behavior from their kids without spanking or yelling. Spanking, bribing and yelling may get short term obedience, but they do not create trust and long-term good behavior.