Guest Author - Kathie LoMonaco
Were you - or maybe you are presently - a divorced or single Mom struggling to make ends meet in order to give your children a better life? I know how hard it is - I have been in your shoes and no one but us Mothers know the guilt that goes along with that as we more often than not have had to work more than one job at a time in order to make ends meet.
Working that second job robs us of precious time we could be spending with our children, something we usually never get over. The guilt is always there. Even now, when my daughter is a Mother herself and I share moments with her as she raises her son, I think back at all the times I had to be away from her in order to keep a roof over our heads, bills paid and food on the table. My heart goes out to all those Moms persevering through hard times hoping to see the light soon at the end of the tunnel.
One good thing that came out of raising my daughter alone was that it did make me stronger as a person as well as giving me a sense of pride and accomplishment that I could do it all myself without needing or depending on a man in my life. Somehow I think I needed to prove that to myself and although I succeeded - everything comes with a price. I sometimes think back to my Mother’s old fashioned ways and one day in particular when I told her I had broken my engagement to my fiance who I had been with for four years. Her reaction was: “What are you going to do now?” I think that was one of those pivotal moments in my life, moments you read about in books that become life-altering, and that moment left an indelible mark on me.
From that point on,, I was on a mission to prove something - either to my parents or myself, or both. They were of the old school thinking that a woman needed a man to survive and hearing that one sentence truly was a wake-up call for me at the tender age of 19.
My daughter gave me one of the highest compliments the other day. She told me I was an inspiration to her. Since she is not a person who is usually free with flowery words or compliments, I am truly savoring that moment and it will stay with me always as I have freeze-framed it in my mind. I feel proud of her as I watch her with my grandson. She devotes all her time and attention to him but being a modern-day Mother she also goes out to work and brings home the bacon - she is a wonderful Mother and a great cook to boot. She is a good hostess when you are at her house. She usually succeeds at anything she puts her mind to.
I also think that you can tell what kind of a husband and father a man will be by looking at his relationship with his Mother. I’m not talking now about ‘Mama’s boys’. Walk, don’t run if you find yourself with a ‘Peter Pan’ man who is a little too close to Mommy. I’ve known ‘Peter Pan’ men - don’t waste your time because ‘Mommy’ will always be first in their life, even after you’re married, with children. They don’t make a move without ‘Mommy’. I have observed that their ‘Mommies’ usually have a less than satisfying relationship with their husband(s) and thus they turn to their son for their emotional needs.. Move on - you deserve much better.
Here’s wishing all you Moms out there a Wonderful Mother’s Day. Thank you for your readership. I hope you get to do something special because you are so special. Mothers know us best. She is the one person you can trust not to have her own separate agenda.
Please drop me a line via email at Midlife@bellaonline.com or Visit me on Twitter as 'KathieBella'...hope to hear from you!