The decision to have or not to have children is the single most significant factor in determining a couple’s future. When a couple is undecided about having children, there are many important issues to consider. Deciding whether or not to have children requires careful consideration of the impact of a major life change on a couple’s lifestyle, marital happiness, and future plans.

Child rearing demands significant time, energy, and money that could be targeted elsewhere. From a practical standpoint, many questions must be considered. How will finances, career plans, travel dreams, etc., be effected by childrearing? Will one spouse give up a promising career to care for the children? If both parents continue to work, will the children be enrolled in daycare or cared for by a relative? Can the couple afford the cost of raising a child, including college expenses?

To make an informed decision about whether or not to have children, a couple must familiarize themselves with the issues. There are many avenues for exploration:

• Spending time with children.
• Talking with parents and childfree couples about the impact of their decisions, visiting childfree and parenting Internet sites to learn the challenges faced by each group, and reading about the ups and downs of their everyday lives.
• Initiating discussions through written exercises. Childfree.net offers a quiz designed to help a couple determine how they feel about children, why they might want a baby, and whether their lifestyle and finances are able to support a new family member. A less structured method of achieving the same result might be to list the reasons for and against having children and discussing the relative importance of each reason.
• Taking a "Baby Maybe" class that focuses on deciding whether or not to become a parent. Often offered by hospitals and led by an obstetrician, these classes examine personal values, economic considerations, the impact of a child on the couple´s lifestyle, family communication and health concerns.
• Visualizing what life will be like 5, 10, or even 50 years from now, both with and without children.

While a couple may feel pressure to make a quick decision, it is important to take all the time they need to think through the issues and the impact of their decision on their lives. Those who make a conscious, informed choice, rather than merely letting nature take its course, are happier and more satisfied with their lives.

This content was written by a Previous BellaOnline Editor who has asked to remain anonymous at this point. She has given us permission to use her content on the site but requests her privacy and cannot be contacted.