Guest Author - George Walker Bush
i>Directed by Marty Callner
Written by Will Ferrell
Release Date: 2009 (TV Special)
Running Time: 115 minutes
Editorís Rating: 4 out of 4 Americas
Good afternoon my fellow Americans.
George W. Bush here, and Iím here to talk to you about this movie that came out about just around the time I left office as leader of the greatest nation in the world. It was done by that dude Will Ferrell. He did me a lot back in the day, and I guess kinda still does. But you know, I took a lot of jabs at me duriní my presidency. I swear, from the day I got in office, it's been like one of those Friar Tuck Roasts anytime I turn on the TV. And I can say, hand to God, he done it best.
But ya know, even if he was takiní one last crack at me with this, I just canít watch it and feel a little proud, ya know? I did all these great things, like landiní a plane on a nucular-powered aircraft carrier, takin 40% of my presidency off, and handliní two of the biggest disasters in American history in a style that would make America remember me forever, and hey, here they are, at the twilight of my term, part of a big olí show based on my time in office.
And ya know what? Itís dang funny.
Dude, I wish I could get a Secret Service like that Jerry dude in the act. Lettiní me all leave whenever I want and distractiní everyone while I go get changed. Itís amaziní! And dang, If Condy looked as good as she did in that show, I can tell ya, all the junk that people were sayiní back in the day woulda come true, I tell ya what.
Jeez, theyíre talkiní bout Clinton back thenÖ man, they ainít seen nothing if that Condy was my CondyÖ
I also dig the jokes they got for Dick Cheney and Karl Rove. Sheez, you know, I canít even look Karl Rove in the eyes, cause Iím afraid my eyes will bleed. Little chipmunky-cheeked S.O.B looks pretty enough, but heís got a mean side to him that'd put rust on a barn door. I once saw him brush his teeth with steel wool and laugh while doiní it. Then he washed his mouth out with acid. And jeez, with Uncle Dick, he just made me feel so safe. So carefree. Like I didnít need to do anything - I could just, do me, ya know?
And boy, let me tell you. I did me. A lot. Oh man, I did me, and I did for all my buddies. And you know what? Movie talks bout that too! Dang fine reportin' that Ferrell dude did. Reportin'? That right? Yeah, gotta be. I'm the decider, I know this stuff. It's my livin'.
I just don't like that the whole thing happens on a big ol' floor. I mean, this was on the MOVIE channel. Why wasn't this a movie? Are they just trying to destroy themselves? And they make it seem like I'd talk to anyone in that audience. Well, it's their movie, I guess they can make some stuff up. I wouldn't mind a swig of that beer at the end, though...
Anyway, this was a mighty fine portrayal of my presidency. Some might call it mocking, some might call it disrespectful. I just call em like I see em, like I always had done my whole life: I'm an awesome guy. I had an awesome presidency. And now I got an awesome movie about my most awesome moments.
You're welcome, America.
eye> **I watched this a couple days ago, on the Hulu's. I didn't see any money for this, but like I really needed it, ya know?** no eye>