Guest Author - Lynne Chapman
Continued from Blonde Jokes
A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day.
The Russian said, "We were the first in space!"
The American said, "We were the first on the moon!"
The Blonde said, "So what, we're going to be the first on the sun!"
The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads.
"You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said the Russian.
To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know. We're going at night!"
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could
see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together.
Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it
There was a blonde woman who was having financial troubles so she decided to
kidnap a child and demand a ransom. She went to a local park, grabbed a little
boy, took him behind a tree and wrote this note. "I have kidnapped your child.
Leave $10,000 in a plain brown bag behind the big oak tree in the park tomorrow
at 7 A.M. Signed, The Blonde"
She pinned the note inside the little boy's jacket and told him to go straight home.
The next morning, she returned to the park to find the $10,000 in a brown bag,
behind the big oak tree, just as she had instructed. Inside the bag was the
following note... "Here is your money. I can not believe that one blonde would do
this to another!"
A blonde was driving home after work, and got caught in a really bad
hailstorm. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took
it to a repair shop. The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he
decided to have some fun. He told her just to go home and blow into
the tail pipe really hard, and all the dents would pop out.
So, the blonde went home, got down on her hands and knees and
started blowing into her car's tailpipe. Nothing happened. She blew a
little harder, and still nothing happened.
Her roommate, another blonde, came home and said, "What are you
The first blonde told her how the repairman had instructed her to
blow into the tailpipe in order to get all the dents to pop out.
Her roommate rolled her eyes and said...
"HELLLLO... You need to roll up the windows!"
June 27, 2002
A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show
in a small town in Arkansas. With his dummy on his knee, he starts going
through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde woman in the 4th row
stands on her chair and starts shouting: "I've heard enough of your stupid
blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way?
What does the color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human
being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at
work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as a person.
Because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not
only blondes, but women in general...and all in the name of humor!"
The embarrassed ventriloquist begins to apologize, and the blonde yells,
"You stay out of this, mister! I'm talking to that little shit on your knee."