g Text Version
Beauty & Self
Books & Music
Food & Wine
Health & Fitness
Hobbies & Crafts
Home & Garden
News & Politics
Religion & Spirituality
Travel & Culture
TV & Movies

Bored? Games!
Take a Quiz
Rate My Photo

Family Travel
Southwest USA
Irish Culture
Home Finance
Comedy Movies
Romance Novels

All times in EST

Clairvoyance: 08:00 PM

Full Schedule
g Attachment Parenting Site

BellaOnline's Attachment Parenting Editor


Positive Discipline

Guest Author - Julie Renee Holland

Ask a dozen parents what discipline means and you'll likely get a dozen different answers. For AP moms and dads the meaning is usually gentler, but it can still be very confusing. How do you discipline a deliberately wayward child? How do you teach a 2 year old that biting is wrong without joining them? When is it ok to let a problem go and when will ignoring it lead to bigger problems later?

Discipline is the art of teaching a child to govern themselves in a world where rock stars, sports "heros" and politicians regularly demonstrate that selfishness is fashionable and rewarding. When you have a close relationship with your child you have already won 80% of the battle. Discipline does not require shaming, violence, anger, or threats. The most effective discipline is often the most subtle.

Children learn through cause and effect. If I throw this ball, it hits the ground every single time. If I throw food off my highchair, mom quietly takes my plate away, every time. When you provide consistent, logical consequences for undesirable actions, pretty soon the game is no fun. If the results are predictable and there is no drama, then it is time to move on.

Often children disobey in an effort to get attention. Remove the attention and drama and there is no fun it in anymore. Rewarding good behavior goes a long way towards eliminating the undesirable behavior. Be liberal with hugs and genuine praise. "You dressed yourself!" is genuine and increases self confidence. Empty praise dilutes the value of your praise and makes the child less self-confident as they soon learn to see that you praise them for everything so what they do really doesn't matter.

Discussing the consequences of their behavior can help a child to see why an action is hurtful to others. "When you hit your sister it hurts her and it makes mommy and daddy sad. What can you do when you are angry at your sister that will help make everyone feel better?" Of course, we have all seen parents who take this to the extreme. The time to explain the danger of the street is after you remove your child from the situation. Reason and logic will not stop a moving vehicle.

Finally, model the behavior you wish to see. If your clothes are on the floor, your words are hurtful, your temper out of control, then your child will do just what they see. It can be quite a shock to hear your unkind words coming from your two year old as they play with their dolls!

This site needs an editor - click to learn more!

Add Positive+Discipline to Twitter Add Positive+Discipline to Facebook Add Positive+Discipline to MySpace Add Positive+Discipline to Del.icio.us Digg Positive+Discipline Add Positive+Discipline to Yahoo My Web Add Positive+Discipline to Google Bookmarks Add Positive+Discipline to Stumbleupon Add Positive+Discipline to Reddit

Getting Dad More Involved in Parenting
Related Articles
Editor's Picks Articles
Top Ten Articles
Previous Features
Site Map

For FREE email updates, subscribe to the Attachment Parenting Newsletter

Past Issues

Printer Friendly
tell friend
Tell a Friend
Email Editor

Content copyright © 2014 by Julie Renee Holland. All rights reserved.
This content was written by Julie Renee Holland. If you wish to use this content in any manner, you need written permission. Contact BellaOnline Administration for details.


g features
Homeschool Options

Quick and Easy Ways to Take a Break

Avoiding Mommy Burnout

Archives | Site Map


Past Issues

Less than Monthly

BellaOnline on Facebook

| About BellaOnline | Privacy Policy | Advertising | Become an Editor |
Website copyright © 2014 Minerva WebWorks LLC. All rights reserved.

BellaOnline Editor