Before you knew the heart ache of infertility, you loved lazy weekend mornings with your partner. You didn't have to schedule passion--it was part of your relationship. Of course, that was when sex required only a cast of two and a gleam in your eye. Enter fertility doctors, ovulation test kits, temperature charts, blood tests, fertility drugs, and financial considerations. Suddenly that bed is getting pretty crowded!

When infertility threatens to drain all the passion from your relationship, here are some tips for protecting what really matters:

* Remember why you chose your partner. It probably wasn't for their ability to produce a child. Take the time to relive the great memories together. Look through old pictures, talk about your courtship, gaze into each other's eyes again.

* Spend time together just enjoying each other. Go out to dinner and really talk about everything except infertility. Take a picnic to a park. Wander a museum hand in hand.

* Plan a romantic interlude at a different time of the month. Take a shower or bath together, enjoy a leisurely weekend breakfast, go away for a weekend or shut yourselves in for the weekend. Take the time to be lovers with no thought to ovulation or timing. Just enjoy connecting emotionally again.

* Be kind to yourself. Infertility can feel like the ultimate betrayal or failure by your body. It can be hard to feel sexy when you are angry at your body. Give your body permission to be imperfect, then focus on what is right and good with your body. Being able to enjoy intimacy with your partner is one of those good things to celebrate.

For more ideas about how to keep your relationship healthy during the stress of infertility, check out these books: