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BellaOnline's Stress Management Editor

How to Keep Your Balance In A Divorce

If Ever Two Were Not One …

Lightning has split the house in two. It crashes down while we watch from a distance. We step carefully amidst the rubble of a relationship trying to find the remnant of the original self, no longer attached to a spouse. We fear change. Was it so bad?—“Sometimes you take me over the top.” Perhaps, it was even worse, “Sometimes you just push me right off!”

In order to have a successful divorce and disconnect from a failing union the mind and body have to be connected. We need to recover our self-esteem because we have seen ourselves reflected in our spouse’s eyes and those eyes may now have a distorted view; “He never made he feel like anything because he never felt like he was anything.” Then there are the children who inhale the stress and the angry words. We try to shield them, but if we are depleted, or hostile, then our children sniff us out. They hear what we shout behind closed doors.

No one in the house likes the change that is taking place. Each spouse fears being alone with the self. The children wish that their parents would still be together - good or bad it is all that they know. Everyone fears the unknown landscape. Uncoupling is a process; therefore be patient, self-affirming and honest.

During the marriage one partner’s goals might have overwhelmed the other partner’s goals. Perhaps one partner was kept in the dark about finances, or did not work outside the home. Divorce highlights the weaknesses of the weaker party.

The key to a successful divorce is to take back your power! Not from your soon to be ex, but to call your spirit back into your body. Try to view divorce as a journey that you took with someone that has ended. Now is the time to journey alone and perhaps meet a kindred spirit on the road.

Here are some suggestions to restore your personal balance. Note, when you are balanced, your child will be balanced. Think of it as putting on the oxygen mask that drops down from the plane on yourself first, then on your child. Because if you pass out from a lack of oxygen, your child will be left unattended.

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Content copyright © 2013 by Debbie Mandel. All rights reserved.
This content was written by Debbie Mandel. If you wish to use this content in any manner, you need written permission. Contact Debbie Mandel for details.

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