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BellaOnline's Stress Management Editor

How to Avoid the Heartbreak of Valentine’s Day

Valentine’s Day fast approaches in a red-heart shaped chariot driven by the media and the card industry. Chocolatiers, florists, lingerie boutiques and let us not forget, jewelers, are passionate about this holiday. In contrast, those who are alone, or severed from a meaningful romantic relationship feel their plight more intensely. And those who are in an ordinary relationship with a frog feel miserable that they do not have a prince in their lives as depicted in the movies, TV and the magazines. Simply put, reality cannot compete with fairy tales. Therefore many of us experience a day of quiet desperation because of this heartfelt PR blitz. We have allowed it to invade our sanctuary.

So what is the truth about Valentine’s Day and true love? The answer is identical to the truth about happiness: Love and romance all depend on perception. In order to experience love, you have to love yourself first. You have to feel worthy of love, not inadequate. If you know how to love yourself and delight in your whole being, then you can accept love from another. If you are waiting for some prince charming to sweep you onto his white steed, carry you into the palace and complete you, we can both laugh about it. The only person who completes you is you! When you know what it is that you specifically contribute to a relationship, then you play both parts - the fair maiden and the prince. You can virtually write and direct your own life story. You can make it happen with your creativity, beauty, spirit and strength. Now that’s self-confidence or what I like to refer to as “healthy narcissism.”

Here is how to celebrate a Happy Valentine’s Day, everyday:

Debbie Mandel, MA is the author of Turn On Your Inner Light: Fitness for Body, Mind and Soul, a stress-reduction specialist, motivational speaker, and a personal trainer. She is the host of the weekly Turn On Your Inner Light Show on WGBB 1240AM in New York City , produces a weekly wellness newsletter, and has been featured on radio/ TV and print media. To learn more visit: www.turnonyourinnerlight.com

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