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Do You Choose Your Partner By Their Looks
When you are dating, do you find yourself choosing your partner because of the way they look? Don’t get me wrong, looks can be important, however it is compatibility that is going to carry you and your relationship further.
All too often I see people with lists of requirements for their desired partner, and expectations of how their partner ‘should be’. Mostly they are to do with how the person looks, and nothing to do with the qualities they possess. Is tall, dark and handsome really more important than, caring, kind and supportive? When you choose your partner based on looks alone, then there is no surprise that compatibility problems will soon become apparent.
We seem to have got it back to front. We go for the looks, then assume that the qualities we want will be there. However, when we go for someone who makes us feel good, we grow to love them in deeper ways; then they become more attractive to us.
An important factor to consider for woman, is that we have been brought up with the fairy tale romance. The guy is always gorgeous, and he is always loving towards the woman, chivalrous, and will do whatever it takes to get her. This creates an ideal in our minds.
Woman then see a good looking guy, and somehow expect that he will have the other qualities we’ve been led to believe he will possess.
That may sound a bit simplistic, but associations are more powerful than you realise. Patterns of thinking become hardwired in our brains; limiting beliefs and dysfunctional ways of thinking are all created out of the unconscious associations we have.
This can create a ‘back to front’ way of seeing things, so instead of getting to know the guy, what he stands for, what he wants from life and whether he is a good partner to join you on your journey; many are discounted because of the way they look, and the potential judgements you make about them, so they are immediately ‘friend zoned’ .
Good looks won’t get you through the tough times; honesty, and an ability to express yourself openly with each other will take you way further.
Relationships are partnerships. A coming together of two people with the same outlook and aspirations in life, who want to share their life journey with one another. Both are valued for bringing their own unique self to the partnership; and their personal self expression. Tall, dark and handsome may sustain you for a while, although unless he has the other qualities you need to function happily it won’t be long lasting.
Use dating as a way of checking who the person is, what they stand for and if they are someone who might be more compatible with you, rather than basing everything on how they look.
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