One of the most difficult aspects of the dating game, in my opinion, is not necessarily the part where you get hurt or disappointed but more so the part where you are the one who is responsible for doing the hurting and/or the disappointing. There are few things worse than having to break the heart or at least bruise the ego of someone that you have genuinely grown to care for.

Several years ago, I found myself in this exact position and to this day wish that I had been mature and selfless enough to have handled things differently than I did. Basically I met someone on the Internet who I later began dating in person. We always had a lot of fun and I truly enjoyed the time we spent together. At first it seemed to me like I had met someone that I could really see myself getting serious with in the future. As the months went by, though, this sense of optimism and the desire to be physically intimate with my new partner gradually began to dissipate. Even in retrospect, I can’t say exactly what it was that was missing from the relationship. All I know is that what initially felt like it could be perfect was suddenly a resounding almost perfect and that no matter how wonderful nearly everything else about the partnership might have been, it would not have been fair of me to continue dating someone that didn’t feel like “the one”. Unfortunately, I was too selfish and immature at the time to recognize what I was feeling until it was too late and my partner had already become emotionally invested in me and in our relationship. At that point, the potential for a friendship to endure between us had been ruined and I inadvertently hurt a person whom I had developed a great deal of respect and appreciation for. Though I cannot undo what has been done or right that wrong, I can at least offer my experience as a lesson for those of you who find yourself in a similar situation.

Finding the ideal partner is far more than simply finding someone to fit the mold that you have developed in your mind about what an ideal partner should look and/or act like. If you have been dating someone who is perfect on paper but somehow fails to set your heart on fire the way love should, then do yourselves both a favor and move on to see what lies behind the next door on your individual journeys.

If you have determined that the person you’ve been seeing does not have long-term potential for you but you suspect that he/she might feel differently about you, then you owe it to your partner and yourself to be up front about your feelings as soon as possible. Though it isn’t the easiest route, addressing the matter tactfully and honestly is always the solution that produces the least disastrous results.