Guest Author - Rev. Jaclin Meade Scott
It is part of your identity. Is it your hair color?
The family’s schedule revolves around it. Is it a baby?
Vacation plans have to be authorized by it. Is it a passport?
Medical care may depend on it. Is it insurance?
One third of your life is given to it. Is it sleep?
You consulted it regarding your wedding date before you even spoke with a minister. Is it your Father?
Whether you are a night person or a day person is determined by it. Is it genetics?
Specialized education is required for it. Is it child birth?
Certain clothing is needed for it. Is it hazardous waste?
Behavioral scientists spend entire careers studying it, writing about it, devising ways to manipulate it. Is it criminal behavior?
Learning its language makes you an insider. Is it a foreign country?
If it sends you away from home, your entire family is affected. Is it the military?
Your circle of friends is determined by it. Is it your neighborhood?
Your availability to your family is determined by it. Is it prison?
Specific tools and skills are used for it. Is it your car?
You will forego your core values for it, such as weekly worship. Is it terrorism?
What is it?
IT is The Job. Your work. The way you make your living. Review only the statements, not the questions, above. They all apply to how the bacon is brought home. Family time and care, friends, leisure, values, abilities, language, clothing, sleep, your self esteem, your very identity and major life events are intricately tied to it. This makes The Job a really, really big deal in your and your family’s life. REALLY big. It’s part of you intellectually, physically, emotionally and psychologically. Big. This is true for whatever employment you’re in. One job isn’t more important or prestigious than another in the way it affects people.
So what happens when The Job isn’t there any more? Crash. Chaos. Change! (oh NO!!!!) Crisis.
“It’s only a job. You still have your health, and can find another place to work. Pull yourself up and count your blessings. It’s not like a family member has died.”
It is EXACTLY like a family member has died. Not realizing, admitting, that can have devastating results. Just like a family member, The Job has been a dominant part of every facet of your life, every day, good or bad. Losing a limb or your voice or one of your senses would affect you THE SAME WAY.
Part of you has died with it. You are angry, depressed, confused, feel guilty, hurt, worried.
Hmmmm.This sounds familiar. OH - - - - it sounds like GRIEF.
Because it IS grief! Hard core, rip your guts out mourning. Deep sorrow. Weeping and gnashing of teeth. Even if you get hired elsewhere tomorrow, these feelings will follow you around for a good while. Ignored, they will affect the new position, and everything else. Ignored, you can start a downward spiral from which some never recover. Losing your job earns you 198 points on the Stress Scale. 300 points is life threatening.
There’s good news. Recovery is possible, free, hands-on, and readily available. The down side is, it takes work (read effort) on your part. Everything worthwhile takes effort. Recovery is worthwhile. Please note: the words “easy” and “fast” do not appear anywhere in this paragraph.
For this particular type of loss, specific tasks are recommended.
Call your creditors and set up a rescue plan. They don't want your house or car. They want you to keep paying for it, and have ideas to keep you afloat.
Establish a daily schedule of job hunting, and stick to it. But don't let it eat your whole day.
Take time to do some of those projects you've wished you had time for.
Whatever you do, don't try to hide this from the kids. They'll think something is wrong with them. Be honest, optimistic, and give them a part in the recovery process. Everyone benefits that way.
The first step is to admit you are grieving. Then decide if you want to get better.
If you want to get better, click on the links below and get started today. Take your life back. We all want you to thrive, live well, come back to us, laugh again, reconnect. Happiness? Happiness is the journey, not the destination. We miss you. When you get better, we all experience
THE TASKS OF GRIEF http://www.bellaonline.com/articles/art50513.asp
THE DEATH OF A DREAM http://www.bellaonline.com/articles/art53450.asp
STRESS IN GRIEF http://www.bellaonline.com/articles/art13955.asp
WHERE IS GOD IN YOUR GRIEF? http://www.bellaonline.com/articles/art50803.asp