logo
g Text Version
Auto
Beauty & Self
Books & Music
Career
Computers
Education
Family
Food & Wine
Health & Fitness
Hobbies & Crafts
Home & Garden
Money
News & Politics
Relationships
Religion & Spirituality
Society & Culture
Sports
Travel & Leisure
TV & Movies

dailyclick
Bored? Games!
Postcards
Astrology
Take a Quiz
Rate My Photo

new
Crime
Cosmetics
Knitting
Breast Cancer
HTML


dailyclick
All times in EST

Tatting: 13:00 PM

Full Schedule
g
g Jokes & Riddles Site
Editor Wanted
BellaOnline's Jokes & Riddles Editor

g

God, The Devil, and Fast Food
Guest Author - Victoria Abreo

Here's how we became addicted to fast food, sugar-filled concoctions and deep fried trans fatty nightmares.

God populated the earth with broccoli and cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow and red vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.

Then Satan created McDonald's, Ben and Jerry's and Krispy Kreme.

And Satan said, "You want chocolate with that?"

And Man and Woman said "Yeah, and another one with sprinkles." And they gained 10 pounds.

And God created the healthful yogurt that woman might keep the figure that man found so fair. And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat, and sugar from the cane, and combined them.

And woman went from size 3 to size 9. So God said, "Try my fresh green salad." And Satan presented Thousand-Island Dressing and garlic toast on the side. And man and woman had to unfasten their belts.

God then said, "I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them." And Satan brought forth deep fried fish and chicken-fried steak so big It needed its own platter.

And man gained more weight and his cholesterol went through the roof. God then brought running shoes so that his children might lose those extra pounds. And Satan gave cable TV with a remote control so man would not have to toil changing the channels. And man and woman watched TV and gained more pounds.

Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition. And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center into chips and deep-fried them. And man and woman gained another ten pounds.

God then gave lean beef so that man and woman might consume fewer calories and still satisfy their appetite. And Satan created McDonald's and its 99-cent double cheeseburger. Then said, "You want fries with that?" And man replied, "Yea! And super size 'em." And Satan said, "It is good." And man went into cardiac arrest.

God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.

And Satan created HMOs.

This site needs an editor - click to learn more!

RSS | Related Articles | Previous Features | Site Map


Content copyright © 2008 by Victoria Abreo. All rights reserved.
This content was written by Victoria Abreo. If you wish to use this content in any manner, you need written permission. Contact BellaOnline Administration for details.

Digg! g delicious Save to Del.icio.us

g


For FREE email updates, subscribe to the Jokes & Riddles Newsletter


Past Issues


print
Printer Friendly
bookmark
Bookmark
tell friend
Tell a Friend
forum
Forum
email
Email Editor

g features
Assorted Funnies

Hit The Floor

Pocket Taser Stun Gun- A Great Gift for the Wife?

Archives | Site Map

forum
Forum
email
Contact

Past Issues
memberscenter


vote
Driving Amount
Much more
Slightly more
Slightly less
Much less

g


| About BellaOnline | Privacy Policy | Advertising | Become an Editor |
Website copyright © 2008 Minerva WebWorks LLC. All rights reserved.


BellaOnline Editor