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Battling Insecurity

Guest Author - Kristina de la Cal

Being able to identify your insecurities is only half the battle. Dealing with them and working through them is another matter. Insecurity is a pronounced, often debilitating lack of confidence in some area. Some examples include, but are certainly not limited to, body issues, hang ups about not being good enough, trust issues, and a fear of vulnerability.

No matter what kind of insecurity you may be battling and regardless of the manner in which it manifests itself in your life, if you address these emotional setbacks in a serious and systematic way, it is possible to eventually transcend them. In order to battle those pesky insecurities, arm yourself with the five-step plan outlined below. The road ahead will not be an easy one. The battle against insecurity is ongoing and will require periodical refreshers but the payoffs are plentiful and will greatly enhance not only the dating experience, but also life in general.

Five Steps Toward Freedom from Insecurity :

  • Step 1: Identify and acknowledge - Denying the existence of your insecurities will not help you to resolve them. Make an effort to identify and acknowledge every one of your insecurities no matter how trivial or serious you might think it is. Keep a list detailing each one and refer to it often.

  • Step 2: Get to the root - It is easy to confuse symptoms of insecurity as the insecurity itself. Anger for example, is a symptom of an underlying insecurity but is not, in and of itself, insecurity. In order to make sure you are battling the right demon, dig deep to find the true root of your insecurity.

  • Step 3: Find the purpose - Though the outcome may not always be favorable, everything does seem to have a purpose. Once you have identified, acknowledged and understood the root of your insecurity, you must then try to determine what purpose it is serving in your life. Let's say, for instance, that you have identified your insecurity as an inability to trust in others and that you believe the root of this insecurity involves a negative experience from a past relationship with someone who betrayed your trust. Think about what purpose your inability to trust is serving in your life. You might come to the conclusion that by refusing to trust others, you are avoiding any situation in which betrayal might occur. Therefore, it would seem that attempting to prevent history from repeating itself could be the main purpose for this particular type of insecurity.

  • Step 4: Analyze the purpose - Identifying the purpose is not enough. It is important to closely examine the purpose that insecurity is serving in your life and determine its validity. Using the previous example, an objective analysis of the purpose that insecurity is serving would surely find it to be a counter-productive measure. While refusing to trust others might seem like a perfectly acceptable self-defense mechanism, it is actually a double-edged sword in that it stops not only those who might do you harm but also those who would do you good, if only given half a chance.

  • Step 5: Redefine your views of the self - Recognize that many insecurities are developed and fueled by cultural stereotypes. Countless men and women alike suffer from countless body issues that are often the direct result of unrealistic expectations set by society. Break free from the chains of cultural stereotypes and even from your own set of unrealistic expectations and be happy just to be the person that you are. Rediscover yourself in all of your exquisite glory and take out a new lease on life. A more realistic vision of the things that make you wonderful will surely serve your insecurity a well-deserved blow.
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Content copyright © 2014 by Kristina de la Cal. All rights reserved.
This content was written by Kristina de la Cal. If you wish to use this content in any manner, you need written permission. Contact Danielle Deovlet for details.

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