Given the number of “celebrations” in a year, deployed service members are always going to miss something: birthdays, Easter, anniversaries, etc. Nothing can take away every last bad feeling, but there are a few things families can do to help themselves and their service member. Thanksgiving and Christmas are some of the hardest holidays for most to deal with. Its six weeks or so of straight happiness and togetherness and joy and family-bonding that can be pretty disgusting when your loved one is gone! Especially if you have children, though, there comes a point when you realize that you can’t continue to have your pity party. You need to figure out a way to make the best of the situation, if nothing else, so your children can still enjoy things.

The very first thing to do is get yourself in the best mindset possible. I’m not going to lie, it’s not easy. It takes a conscious effort on your part. You have to just tell yourself that you are going to be as happy as possible, despite your current situation. Once you’ve made this decision, you have to start getting to work to make it a reality.

If you have children, an easy way to begin is to focus on things that will make the season enjoyable for them. Involve them in menu planning if you’re staying home. They can help decide what to make for Thanksgiving and Christmas. Check out sites like www.foodnetwork.com to come up with delicious variations on your traditional meal. Start some new traditions like making homemade cinnamon rolls the night before to bake the morning of. Or you could go the opposite route and decide that you want to be different and have pizza or some other non-traditional food. Have fun with it; make it your own. Who says you have to do what everyone else is doing? Bake cookies. Help out those who are less fortunate by volunteering time or donating money or gifts. Learn something new about the holidays. Take a local trip for a tree lighting or parade. Make all sorts of homemade goodies and crafts to be sent in care packages. The possibilities are endless.

If you’ll be travelling, involve your children in the planning process. Have them decide what they want to pack. If you’re driving, do a little research and find some cool things to stop and see along the way. Take lots of pictures and make a collage to send in a care package.

Sometimes it’s not as easy if you don’t have children, but a lot of the same ideas can be applied. Get together with a few other childless spouses and bake cookies, plan meals together, make crafts to send in care packages. Again, have fun. Who says a group of adults can’t go enjoy a Christmas parade or make cute little cards for their deployed loved ones? A big key here is realizing that it doesn’t matter what most people do; your situation isn’t like most people’s situations, so do what will get you in a festive mood.

If you can, sometimes being with family helps ease the pain of the season. Request ahead of time that they not dwell on the service member that’s gone and how hard that must be on you. Just enjoy yourself with family.

Next week we’ll continue the discussion about what can make the holiday season as enjoyable and bearable as possible when a family member is deployed. Visit the forums to offer your pointers on making it through!