Guest Author - Christine Wilcox
Facebook and social networking in general have revolutionized the way that we connect with each other. It's amazing to see your circles of friends converge on your wall, some sharing status updates while others you find play too many games. It can provide an amazing amount of information. But here's a question that I've been churning on - to friend or not to friend on Facebook after a first date? Here are 4 things to consider.
1. Only ask if you're invited.
In my opinion, sending a friend request on Facebook should be out of authentic interest and knowing someone, either casually or from past history. Yes, if you've had a great first date you should enjoy every second of the feelings resulting from that, but don't presume that your date feels the same way. If they've invited you to find them on Facebook, then you can friend them. If they don't, then don't. It's that simple.
2. Be prepared for the information you'll find on Facebook.
Facebook connects so many people to each other that sometimes, you forget exactly who you're connected to. In all likelihood, you have people in your friends list that are exes. Likewise, you might find out the first name of an ex in the course of your conversations with your date, and they could be friends on Facebook, too. If you find their Facebook page, do not (I repeat DO NOT) immediately dive to their friends list to see if you can figure out who the person is. Don't create mental issues for yourself where none should exist.
3. Don't make assumptions about photos you may find in Facebook.
Just because you find a photo of your first date on a beach with their arm slung around someone else doesn't mean that person is an ex. Far from it. Don't make assumptions. Period.
4. How would you feel if they don't accept your request?
Most people's privacy settings don't permit you to see what they've posted and when. Just because you're on Facebook every day or week (or hour) doesn't mean that someone else is. If you send a friend request that they don't respond to, will it cause you to spin into a frenzy of doubt?
Dater, know thyself. If you think that you HAVE to friend someone on Facebook after a first date, have permission to do so - and be prepared for what you might find. If you're going to start comparing yourself to every person they're in a photo with, it's not worth the brain cells you'll waste. Enjoy the first date, and let everything else unfold naturally.