Guest Author - Chinedum Ify Obikili
I can understand parents wanting their kids to become great, famous and admired. I can also understand most parent's desire to have their kids follow in their footsteps. But, setting high goals an standards for your kids is both unfair and selfish. Have you considered the possibility that your footsteps may be too large for? Or that these kids may have dreams of their own? Pushing your kids so hard, even with the best of intentions would ultimately yield counter results. Here is the problem with setting high standards for your kids.
1. They could miss their growing up experience: Everyone has a growing-up experience, an experience they share with either their friends or children. No child should be denied of such experience. Sometimes, placing a child on a strict regime and having him/her monitored closely, because you want him to fit into a particular identity or for whatever reason (except medical) is both unfair and selfish. As much as celebrity kids are beautiful to see, these kids' feelings should be put into consideration. They crave a regular life too, they want to be free to walk to school with their friends, roll on the ground with their friends, or do whatever it is children do to have fun. When kids are forced to become adults before they are ready, it affects them at the long-run.
2. Their dreams and passion may be snatched from them: It is possible your kids have their own dreams and stuff they are passionate about. Be careful not to rub them of these. I've interacted with parents who want their kids to become medical doctors when their kids' interest is on something entirely different. These kids do their best to follow your dream, all the while nursing their secret dreams and passions. Trust me; a child who grows up being something that isnít his or her dream will always blame you for denying him that dream. This is same for parents who insist their kids be on a particular team when the kid in question wants to be somewhere else.
3. They may not get to learn how to make their own mistakes: I am not advocating for parents to allow their kids to go about making mistakes, but, allowing your children to step out and be themselves would really be cool and if they make mistakes while at it, then help them learn from their mistakes. This is much better than placing them on a delicate rope and demanding that they donít fall off it. A child who is pushed in this way will eventually reach his limit, and when he does, he'd revolts, the outcome is usually unpleasant. Plus you really do not want your kid growing up to resent you for all h/she felt you.
4. Psychologically they are affected: Your kids have feelings too, so they can get hurt. When you push your them too hard that there is no more room for them to stretch, they are bound to crumble and give up and then go about life feeling like failures because they have always been judged by your standard, and by your standards, they donít measure.