Even if you consider yourself to be an excellent judge of character, the lens through which you view the object of your affections is not always as transparent as you might think. This is especially true during the initial honeymoon phase when your romantic partner is more likely to seem very much like a dream come true. Regardless of how magical things between you and your partner might be in the beginning, time has a way of wearing down pretenses and exposing people for who they really are. If you happen to be one of the lucky ones then it is quite possible that you have in fact found a quality partner who is exactly the person that you thought he/she was to begin with. If, on the other hand, time reveals less favorable truths about your partner, you might find yourself beginning to wonder what you have gotten yourself into. A loser in the dating world can be described as somebody who poses any kind of threat to your physical, emotional or psychosocial development and well-being. Obviously some threats are more serious than others but it is important to remember that a quality partner will be one that enhances rather than endangers your development and well-being in the areas mentioned above.
Though it isnít always easy to tell what kind of person you are dating right away, most losers eventually begin to drop clues about their character flaws that should be recognized by you as signs that itís time to get out of the relationship before things take a turn for the worse. If you suspect that you might be dating a loser, review the top 3 signs below and then get started on your plan of escape.
- Short Fuse - People with a short fuse are often hard to deal with, especially within an intimate relationship. You might want to give serious thought to ending the relationship if your partner is quick to blow up in anger and expresses it in dangerous ways such as throwing objects, hitting things/people or driving recklessly. While this type of character flaw can sometimes be remedied by counseling and/or anger management classes, you should think carefully about whether or not itís worth it for you to stick around.
- Controlling Nature - Somebody with a controlling nature is the kind of person who will constantly try to dictate things like how you dress, where you go, what you do and who you can associate freely with. If your partner begins trying to cut you off from friends/family and discourage you from pursuing outside interests, then you really need to re-evaluate the relationship and think about getting out.
- Overly Critical - If your partner is constantly cutting you down to size and doing or saying things that make you feel badly about yourself, then he/she probably does not deserve your affections. Frequent and deliberate attacks on your self-confidence and self-esteem are another method of control that should not be tolerated.
While the signs mentioned above are the most common indications that you are dating a loser, sometimes the red flags can be a bit more subtle. The important thing to remember is that healthy relationships should make you feel safe and secure. If you are dating somebody who you feel threatened by in any way or who makes you feel insecure, then you can bet that the relationship is probably not a healthy one and needs to be reexamined.