Below are some of the relationship questions I recently received, with my answers to them.

If you have a relationship question you would like answered, consider these two options:

1. Questions and answers are posted on the Q&A pages of my website, WhatItTakes.com.
   

   If you can't find a Q&A that fits your situation, submit your questions by going here
   

2. If you would like a personal reply or solution to your relationship question, schedule a ProblemSolver Coaching Session with me, Relationship Coach Rinatta Paries. For more information and to schedule your 15-minute, half hour, or a 45-minute ProblemSolver Coaching Session, go here.

Q: Dear Coach,
I've been dating a girl for three years and we've talked about marriage. She has a tendency to get angry with me — sometimes it is warranted, other times it is not, and tells me to fix the problem. But when I try to fix the problem, whether by apologizing or with a practical solution, she sabotages me by being nasty, ignoring me, or arguing with me about what I did wrong long after I have attempted to rectify the situation. How do I get her to recognize that I am doing exactly as she asked? She gets so hung up on what happened that finding a solution, no matter how simple or complicated, is impossible.
~Joe

A: Dear Joe,
Next time, try this. When she gets angry with you, first listen to her. Do not interrupt her or defend yourself. She may even be wrong about what she is saying. But still simply listen until she is done talking. Then, mentally put yourself in her shoes and talk to her about what it must be like for her right at that moment. Only when she says you have clearly understood where she is coming from and what's happening to her, provide the solution to the problem. If you want more in-depth tips on how to improve communication in your relationship, especially in times of conflict, check out an online class I created titled "How To Talk To Your Partner."

Q: Dear Coach,
I am a 37-year-old, never-married woman in a 6-month relationship with a 30-year-old man. For the most part it's an equitable, loving relationship. I have one distinct issue and I'm trying to get a handle on whether or not I'm being unreasonable. I get angry when he says he's going to call but doesn't end up doing it. We have had discussions about this and I've expressed that I find it inconsiderate to make me worry and hard for me to trust other things he says. This sort of thing happens at least once a month. I feel he avoids calling me because he thinks I'm upset about something. He says he is sometimes afraid of confrontation. From a trust point of view, am I blowing things out of proportion if he doesn't call when he says he will? Does this point to a larger problem? Many thanks, and great column.
~Melanie

A: Dear Melanie,
Make it easy for him to stop doing this behavior, and then watch what happens to see whether a larger problem emerges.

Here is how to help him not break his promise to you about calling:

• Don't define when he should call. This will mean freedom for both of you. He calls when he wants and is not under the gun to perform.
  
• When he does call, be pleasant and glad he called, even if you are angry. Express the anger later, in person. Confrontation is hard to deal with and for the two of you it may be better done in person.

To better deal with his fear of confrontation, consider taking the "How To Talk To Your Partner" class. For more info go here.

Q: Dear Coach,
I have been in a very intense relationship for over two months. He has brought me into every area of his life — his family, friends, and business. It seems really fast, and I want to know how he feels. More specifically, I want to know whether he loves me the way I love him. If actions speak louder than words, then this man is in love with me. But how can I give him confidence to express his feelings? What can I do to assure him that I am a safe person? And how often should I bring up the subject? I will not wait beyond six months before moving on. I believe if he loves me he will verbally tell me within three to four months. Am I overreacting?
~Deann

A: Dear Deann,
If you want your man to love you and want your relationship to last, slow down. If you want him to learn to trust you so he can express his feelings, slow down. Even if he is pushing for the relationship to go faster, slow it down to a steady, calm pace. Trust takes time to develop and does not come in just a few months. It is reasonable for a couple to date a year or more before they profess their love for each other.

If you want a head start on finding out if your man is available for a long-term relationship and may one day be in love with you, you may want to take a webclass called "Discerning Available Partners." For more info and to register go here.

Your Relationship Coach,
Rinatta Paries
www.WhatItTakes.com

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While it's possible to improve your ability to attract a partner or improve your current relationship just by reading these articles, you'll probably find it a lot easier and more fun if you have me as your coach to help you along. Click here to learn more about my coaching services.
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(c) Rinatta Paries. Do you know how to attract your ideal mate? Do you know how to build a fulfilling relationship, or how to reinvent yours to meet your needs? Relationship Coach Rinatta Paries can teach you the skills and techniques to attract and sustain long-term, healthy partnerships. Visit www.WhatItTakes.com where you'll find quizzes, classes, advice and a free weekly ezine. Become a "true love magnet(tm)!"