Guest Author - Kristina de la Cal
As fallible human beings, it shouldnít come as too much of a surprise that most of us seem to have a rather difficult time accepting any sense of responsibility for much of the negativity that may exist in various areas of our lives. Dating is, of course, no exception.
How many times have you griped about the lack of quality singles out there, how few potential companions are willing to make a commitment or Ö(insert appropriate grievance here)? In other words, how often do you find yourself complaining about this or that aspect of your dating life but yet stop short of taking any action to right what may be wrong? If this sounds like an issue that you are familiar with in your own dating life, now might be a good time to take the dating bull by the horns and regain control of your love life so that it serves you and your unique needs the way that it should.
The truth is that regardless of whether or not we are willing to admit it, we all do it. When things donít go the way we planned, trying to propel the blame outward seems to be some sort of emotional reflex that if left unchecked, could prevent us from identifying and ultimately resolving some of the internal struggles that stand firmly in the path of our potential for romantic bliss.
Now I am not implying that there canít be situations in which other people or unfortunate circumstances are to blame for the things that go wrong in your dating life. I am not saying that every single person is solely responsible for all of their dating woes. What I am saying, however, is that by focusing more heavily on those aspects of your dating life that you can reasonably control, you will be far more likely to genuinely enjoy the dating process and get the most out of it in the long run.
Take a few minutes to think about the type of interactions that you typically have with dating partners. If your dating experiences usually leave something to be desired, then perhaps there might be some aspect of those experiences that you are capable of modifying in a way that will make for a more cheerful dating future. When the interactions between you and a love interest or dating partner become strained, look first at your own attitudes and/or practices to see if they might be inadvertently contributing to the problem.
Often times without even noticing, we set ourselves up for failure and then wonder why things happen as they do. The bottom line is that our lives (both in dating and in general) usually turn out the way they do based more in response to our attitudes and reactions than to the things that actually happen to us. So if you are in a dating slump and want to work your way out of it, take the time to reflect on the personal role you play in that slump and to identify what you can do to snap out of it. Even if you arenít exactly in a dating slump per se, using this process of self-reflection and evaluation can still serve to enhance your overall dating experiences. Though it can be frightening to confront your own demons by looking inward for solutions to a problem, being able to adjust your emotional temperament in ways that suit your individual needs will surely prove to be a reward that is well worth the risk it takes to earn it.