Guest Author - Guest Editor

“Smoking kills, and if you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life”. - Brooke Shields


That's right, Brooke, smoking does kill, especially when we're on fire. But a lot other things not quite as visible as cigarette smoking or as dramatic as being ablaze kill us too. Things that creep up on us over time, like kudzu vine around a maple tree, and slowly, yet gently, squeeze the life out of us. And when the life is squeezed out of us, we've lost a very important, well - you know.

Things like constant hard work, duties, studies, obligations, family, promises, and that other big thing called life all demand our time and energy. Even if they give back to us rewards particular to them, such as pride and progress, they cannot nourish every facet of our personalities.

That’s why you need to have fun, and often, and the key to this is figuring out what is fun for you in particular because we're all so different.

I can hear you now. "Really Paula, figuring out what's fun?" you ask incredulously. "Isn't fun just about doing fun stuff?"

Yes, Devoted BellaOnline Reader, fun is just doing fun stuff. But it's your particular fun stuff, and you have to know what that stuff is.

Think about it for a minute. We easily know what isn’t fun: Diaper changing (big downer there), house cleaning (ditto), carpooling, laundry, yard work, the cable being out, a full-time job and a long commute, and on, and on. There’s not a lot of fun to be found in any of these things. But they are all important things, and they all have benefits and payoffs once done. But those payoffs might not include fun.

I love success and I bet you do too. And I love wealth, and good health, and beauty, peace, friendship, and love. For the most part, I enjoy having some measure of all of these things in my life right now.

But where’s the fun?

There are scores of successful people who never have fun and the same goes for the wealthy ones. A person can have a lot of friends and a loving family, but that doesn’t necessarily translate into fun. Consistently healthy people enjoy being healthy, but that doesn’t mean they have fun either.

Fun is a unique thing in our lives. It operates independently of all of the other aspects of our existence, and I think therein lies the problem for many of us. But because fun is rooted in specificity, it can be chunked into other things in our lives, if we pay special attention to it.

You know those things we just talked about that weren’t much fun? They can be, at least a little bit!

Now, I can’t really help you on the diaper changing thing, you’re just going to have to survive. I’m sorry, and my sympathy goes out to your brave little nose for the next couple of years.

But while you’re cleaning the house you can listen to your favorite disco songs and shake your booty. When you’re finishing the laundry and folding clothes on the living room floor, you can bury the baby in warm, soft socks and play peek-a-boo (or you can do this to the cat or the dog too; he might not have much fun but you will), and during that long commute you can listen to a mesmerizing novel on tape or compact disc.

Having fun is a critical part of life. It’s the spice of life; not needed but deeply enriching nonetheless. And fun can be a huge boost for you in every area. When you have fun, you’re thinking clearly. When you’re having fun, your stress levels drop and you’re more open to the good things that life has to offer you.

As our favorite girl-interrupted Winona Ryder said, “I feel my best when I'm happy.” Well, don’t we all? Fun helps you feel your best.

Now, tell me what’s fun for you.

Is it filling out that Hello Kitty coloring book with glitter crayons?

Forcing your Significant Other to hand feed you peanut M&Ms while you watch "The Mentalist"?

Feeding those goofy goldfish in the living room that the kids forgot about after the second day they had them?

Tapping the cat on the behind then acting like you didn’t do anything when she looks at you? (That’s a LOT of fun).

Throwing popcorn at the television when your least favorite cook wins a quickfire challenge on "Top Chef"? (that would be Marcel by the way...)

Have you done any of these things lately? And if you haven’t, why the heck not? Like fine wine, chocolate, and earrings, you can live without fun but it’s not much, well, you guessed it!

So your assignment this week, if you choose to accept it, Special Agent Devoted BellaOnline Reader, is to go out there and have some fun already!