In today’s world, prices keep escalating and our dollars definitely don’t stretch as far as they used to. Some of our budgets are really feeling the squeeze. We know we need to pare down, but don’t know where to make the first cut. Why is it so painful to spend less? Well, in some cases, people are already living with the bare necessities and can’t trim their budgets any further. Some of us, however, have been spending a little bit here and a little bit there, and are finding that all our “little bits” are in danger of adding up to one big overdrawn checking account.

Why do we over spend? Stress can be a huge contributing factor. I know when I am under a lot of stress, my coffee shop runs become a lot more frequent, sometimes up to three times a day! When we’re having a bad day at work, or stuck in an awkward social situation, we frequently think of how we will console ourselves when our misery is over. I’m much more likely to go out for a big dinner or on a shopping trip when I’m anxious or unhappy.

The problem is, that even though a fancy dinner or a sparkly pair of new heels can make us feel better in the moment, that feeling doesn’t usually last very long, leaving us with bills that only make us feel worse. How can we break this cycle? We can start by taking a long look at how we live, and deciding what extras provide lasting value or benefits to us, and what we can do without while not feeling deprived.

My boyfriend uses a budget program to keep track of every dollar he spends. Sometimes I tease him about it, but it’s really helpful. These personal finance programs, such as Microsoft Money by Microsoft or Quicken by Intuit, can help you keep track of your income and your expenses, balance your checkbook, and pay your bills electronically. They can be used for much more complex needs as well, such as monitoring your investments, managing multiple bank accounts, and running a small home business.

Whether you choose to use a computer budgeting program or to keep written records, try to keep track of everything you spend money on for at least one month. Two or three months would be better as it would be a more accurate representation of your true routine. Even if you don’t write down the exact amount of money you spent on every cappuccino or hamburger you buy, you can note that during the past workweek, you went out to eat four times and went to the local coffeehouse twice a day. This will help you see how all your little expenditures add up to big bucks!

After you’ve identified what you’re spending your money on, you need to decide what parts of your budget are important to you, and what you can do without. Every person’s priorities are different. Maybe you work in a profession that places a lot of emphasis on your physical appearance. You may decide that in order to be able to keep buying the most fashionable clothing and accessories, you are willing to pack a lunch and eat at home more often. Other people may have different decisions to make, such as how to afford their children’s after-school activities, or how to budget for a family vacation. In this case, it may help to look at your food and entertainment budget. I know some busy families rely on restaurants and sometimes expensive take-out and convenience foods to feed their families on hectic school nights.

By now you may be thinking that if we eliminate all of the things that make our lives enjoyable, what’s left? That is the big question. Maybe we need to think about how much enjoyment we really get out of some of these things. In my case, I usually go to one famous coffee shop at least twice a day. Sometimes I really savor my extra-hot latte, and other times I think I buy it out of habit. In fact, when I forget to go, it really isn’t any big hardship. I think we actually savor life’s little pleasures more when we indulge in them a little less often.

It’s definitely fun to eat out at a nice place, or buy the stylish sandals or new purse you’ve been wanting. However, the things that really give us pleasure are sometimes less tangible. Playing in the park with our children, spending time with our friends, snuggling up on the couch with our significant others watching our favorite show… these are all things that can bring us true joy. The other things are just icing on the cake. When we learn how to do the things we enjoy while making room in our budgets for the things that are really important to us, we may find out that less really can be more.