Here’s this week’s Official BellaOnline Knock-Knock Monday #9 for your reading pleasure! This week I want to share with you a fantastic website that is entertaining as well as practical in giving you access to the best literature ever written in this world.
So, with that said, on to our favorite Knock-Knock jokes, and beware -- they’re painful this week!
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Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Amos.
Amos who?
Amos quito bit me!
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Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Wendy.
Wendy who?
Wendy wind blows de cradle will rock.
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Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Gable.
Gable who?
Gable to leap buildings in a single bound!
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Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Candace.
Candace who?
Candace be true?
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You know you love it - but I’ll stop before I get more death threats … And now on to this week’s corny joke:
A little girl walked up to her mother and stared at her hair. As the mother washed the dishes, the little girl sweetly asked, "Why do you have those gray strands of hair?"
The mother paused and looked at her daughter and replied, "Every time you disobey me I get one strand of grey hair. If you want me to stay pretty then you’d best obey me, ok?"
The mother quickly returned to her task of washing dishes. The little girl stood there thinking a while.
"Mother?" she sweetly says.
"Yes dear?" her Mother replied.
"Why is Grandma's hair totally gray?"
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Now let me tell you about one of my favorite book related websites ever. Founded by genius Michael Hart, who invented the e-book in 1971, Project Gutenberg is a vast database of nearly every Western classic in literature plus more.
http://www.gutenberg.org
Just to give you an idea about what people look for on this site and a fraction of what it offers, here’s the Top 10 downloads last week:
1. The Outline of Science, V-1 by J. Arthur Thomson (589 pages)
2. Manners, Customs, and Dress During the Middle Ages and During the Renaissance Period by PL Jacob (450)
3. The Kama Sutra of Vatsyayana by Vatsyayana (359)
4. Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen (343)
5. How to Write Clearly by Edwin Abbott (284)
6. Illustrated History of Furniture by Frederick Litchfield (249)
7. Ulysses by James Joyce (246)
8. Searchlights on Health by BG Jefferis and JL Nichols (243)
9. The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle (241)
10. Alice's Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll (236)
See? You can download these books onto your computer or your handheld reader and it’s free of charge. I signed up to be a volunteer editor a while back and I love helping out this site which is so dedicated to keeping older texts alive and available.
Check out Project Gutenberg and browse for some of your favorite classics. You will love this website!
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