Guest Author - Vannie Ryanes
Have you ever wondered why some people are lucky while nothing ever goes right for others? Of course of a lot depends on circumstances, but some good luck may depend on attitude and how these lucky people look at life in general. How many times have you said, "I can't believe how lucky he is, everything seems to land butter-side up for him." Okay, perhaps not in those words, but you get my point.
After thinking of friends and colleagues I realized those who have positive, can-do attitudes are usually the ones who have the best luck. You know who I mean. Everything seems to go just right for these lucky Joes and Josies. They are invited to the good parties; by chance, they meet the president of a company who takes a liking to them. Good things seems to happen to them and for them, "just because." My suspicions are that these people are filled with a positive outlook on life and have developed positive self-talk. One of my friends (and mentor) told me years ago that every morning when she gets out of bed she looks in the mirror and says to her image "Good Morning, you certainly are beautiful today!" Does this work? I think it does, in the many years I have known her she always greets me with a smile, a hug and a "how are you doing darlin?" Moreover, I know personally that she has a good life emotionally and financially.
Are you a positive self-talker? How can you help your children feel good and positive about themselves?
Self-talk is the noise and mutterings that goes on in our heads about ourselves. If your self-talk is always critical, negative and dooming you to failure -- you probably will fail. Dr. Wayne Dyer who wrote The Power of Intention says When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change. That is a short but powerful phrase. If every place you have worked had mean and vindictive people, the next place work will probably have the same kind of people. Why? Perhaps you are the problem, not the people at your job. Generally, you get back what you give. Young children can become unsuspecting sponges to negative thoughts and mutterings. Are guilty of saying "Oh, I'm too stupid, I could never do that"? If someone else said that, you would be fighting mad. When your child hears you say something like that he may think if mom or dad is stupid maybe I am too. Or I won't try to do that because mommy/daddy says it is too hard to do.
To keep your children from following in your foot steps, you must first acknowledge that you are a negative self-talker, then start changing the way you see yourself. When you feel a negative self criticism coming on, stop and think. Then turn your thought around into something positive. Do the same for your child. When your son says that one of his friends is smarter than he is, ask why he thinks that? Make him aware of his own good skills and watch his smile when he realizes that he is just as smart or smart another way.
Are you a positive or negative self-talker? Ask someone close to you.