Guest Author - Marianne Gibson

If international cultural relations were merely a problem of language, the world would be a rather less fascinating place. As it is, we are separated from our fellow planet-dwellers by nuances in behavioural norms, which build up into an unspoken code of etiquette. Here, I look at some aspects of Russian public etiquette which can be hard to adapt to.

How do strangers relate?
In public life, that is, in shops, on buses, in the street, strangers are not ‘friends you have yet to meet’, they are strangers, to be tolerated, maybe helped, sometimes joked with, but not people deserving of particular notice. The difference in relations between the known and the unkown is stark. I can honestly say that when I’m on my own, despite my efforts to compete, I am last on the bus, last through the door (sometimes even when I opened it!), and last in the queue. When I’m with a Russian friend, they somehow manage to reverse this situation. One example; a friend came to see me off on a long train journey, a polite, friendly and warm woman. We got on 10 minutes before the train left. She ensured I found my seat, rearranged everyone’s luggage to accommodate mine, and promptly sat down in someone else’s seat until it was time to close the train doors, leaving another girl standing, and me mortified.

Shops
‘The sales assistant is ignoring me!’ No they aren’t – they are probably wondering when exactly you are going to open your mouth and tell them what you want, but in the meantime they will keep busy with other things. One of the hardest things I found is that you can’t always achieve eye contact before opening the dialogue. If the sales assistant does speak first, be prepared for a ‘business-like’ manner; ‘I’m listening’ or even ‘speak!’ is a common opener. If no-one smiles, don’t be offended – a person who smiles for nothing is a fool, and after all, they don’t know you, why smile? Another point to note – some people are superstitious about passing money hand to hand, so lay it on the counter when paying.

Russian Queues
You see a queue. It has four occupants. You join the end. You stand too far away from the last person, and someone comes in in front of you. The woman behind keeps knocking you with her bag. You are now second in the queue. It transpires that three old ladies asked the man in front of you to save their places while they tried another queue. You are now fifth in the queue again. Wait, the woman who kept knocking you has somehow ended up in front by speaking to the old ladies to assure them that they are in front of her. You are now 6th in the queue. The window closes.
N.B; always check you’re in the correct queue, to save stress upon your heart.