1. Why it's good to have five pairs of black shoes.

2. The difference between cream, ivory, and off-white.

3. Crying can be fun.

4. FAT CLOTHES.

5. A salad, diet drink, and a hot fudge sundae make a balanced lunch.

6. Why discovering a designer dress on the clearance rack can be considered a peak life experience.

7. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made.

8. A good man might be hard to find, but a good hairdresser is next to impossible.

9. Why a phone call between two women never lasts under ten minutes.

   AND THE NUMBER ONE THING ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND:
   

10. OTHER WOMEN!

1. So Many Men, So Few Who Can Afford Me.

2. God Made Us Sisters; Prozac Made Us Friends.

3. If They Don't Have Chocolate In Heaven, I Ain't Going!

4. My Mother Is A Travel Agent For Guilt Trips.

5. Princess, Having Had Sufficient Experience With Princes, Seeks Frog.

6. Coffee, Chocolate, Men. . . Some Things Are Just Better Rich

7. Don't Treat Me Any Differently Than You Would The Queen.

8. If You Want Breakfast In Bed, Sleep In The Kitchen.

9. Dinner Is Ready When The Smoke Alarm Goes Off.

10. I'm Out Of Estrogen - And I Have A Gun.

11. Guys Have Feelings Too. But Like ... Who Cares?

12. Next Mood Swing: 6 Minutes.

13. And Your Point Is...?

14. Warning: I Have An Attitude And I Know How To Use It.

15. Of Course I Don't Look Busy...I Did It Right The First Time

16. Do Not Start With Me. You Will Not Win.

17. You Have The Right To Remain Silent, So Please Shut Up!

18. All Stressed Out And No One To Choke.

19. I'm One Of Those Bad Things That Happen To Good People.

20. How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away?

21. Sorry If I Looked Interested. I'm Not.

22. If We Are What We Eat, I'm Fast, Cheap And Easy.

23. Don't Upset Me! I'm Running Out Of Places To Hide The Bodies.

~~ Author Unknown ~~

Men Are Such Fools

Never miss a thing. Join Thrillist -- the daily shot of everything you need to know.
Sign up now
-- it's free and easy