While the majority of Americans believe that the Bible is G-d’s message to humankind, many use the passages in it to judge or hate others. One example of this is the passages of the Bible that are used against homosexual persons.

In her recent letter to the Editor, Ms. X. used many passages to “help” make her point that homosexuals can be changed and should be changed. While I agree with her that marriage between two people is a blessing that brings inexpressible joy, I do not believe some of her other claims about-married couples and their children. She said children raised in a home with a mother and a father generally have a good self-image, do better in school, are less likely to become sexually active before marriage, are less likely to do drugs and alcohol, or to become lawbreakers. I hate to be the barer of bad news, but Ms. X., what is the current divorce rate? Answer: well over 50%. Your claims about children having better self-images if they have a mom and dad at home are also dubious. How come we have thousands upon thousands of Anorexic and Bulimics, tons of girls and boys with image issues who use diet drugs and other means to get thinner, and also children who think so poorly of themselves they have to commit suicide. If you look at the statistics, the majority of those with eating disorders and image issues come from middle class families that have both parents at home. How then can this be, if according to you, these children are supposed to be happy and have a good self-image?

As for drug use and alcohol use, just because there is a mom and dad at home does not mean that these children will not experiment or abuse. The majority of drug abusers come from so-called stable nuclear homes. Alcohol abuse is another common thing amongst children of any home background. The majority of children who will abuse alcohol come from homes that have a mother or father who abuses alcohol. Your claims that most do not have sex before marriage, what century are you in. Most of the people I went to high school with had been sexually active for years, and the majority of them came from “good Christian homes where mom was a stay-at-home mom and Dad worked every day of his life.” In fact, the current trend in HIV/AIDS transmission rates is at an all time high in straight men and women. In fact the largest populous becoming infected with AIDS/HIV are young, straight black women. One fourth of the people with AIDS are under 21 years old. In 2003, approximately 1,700 children under the age of 15 years, and 6,000 young people aged 15 to 24 years became infected with HIV every day. Of new infections among women in the United States, CDC estimates that approximately 75 percent of women were infected through heterosexual sex. The estimated rate of adult/adolescent AIDS diagnoses in the United States in 2002 (per 100,000 population) was 76.4 among blacks, 26.0 among Hispanics, 11.2 among American Indians/Alaska Natives, 7.0 among whites, and 4.9 among Asians/Pacific Islanders

You say that homosexual’s behavior leads to heartache and often-deadly sexually transmitted diseases. The gay community heard the news in the 80’s. AIDS kills, as well as many other sexually transmitted diseases. That is why homosexuals are so adamant about safer sex and using protection. It is religious groups like the Pro-Family, Pro-Marriage, and others that have not allowed safer sex to be taught in our schools. When abstinence is the only thing pushed to be taught, our children loose. They do not learn the real risks of sexual activity, and that if they engage in sexual activity, the only way that is safer is through using protection and contraceptives. Yes, Abstinence may be the only SAFEST way, but let us face the facts, our children are having sex, unprotected sex, and babies are not the only things coming out of these activities.

Most of the things found in your article are the words and statements from Pro-family and Pro-marriage organizations. They all use the same general statements to say why homosexuals ruin the family and their children. When the national divorce rate is so high, the underage birth rate is so high, drug and alcohol abuse are so high, and the rates of sexually transmitted diseases are so high, we need to worry about those factors and not blame them on a certain group in the American populous. You are so worried about homosexuals becoming the norm that you cannot see beyond your small number of facts. You claim that homosexual men are 3 times more likely to molest boys that the average men, that you forget the profile of a pedophile and child molester is a white male, aged 33-45, married, straight, has children himself, and is of a Christian background. In addition, the claim that being born gay being false, I would like you to tell someone who is homosexual, that they are a “birth defect” and were born wrong or with a problem. Most homosexual people are not molested when they were young; this is another common claim by people who want to invalidate the gay person. Most gay people come from average homes, where they were loved and cared for. Most were not molested as children, and most just want one thing out of life; love and acceptance.

Moreover, why can’t a homosexual relationship give the same fulfillment that a heterosexual marriage does? You claim that married couples are more healthy and enjoy a more satisfying sexual life, why not the homosexual couple? I know of many gay men and women who have been in committed loving relationships for years. Your claim that most “committed” relationships last for only 5 years is way off. How would you know how long these relationships lasted if you want to change all the homosexuals and are a heterosexual woman yourself? Most committed long term relationships in the gay community that I know of have lasted far longer than your small 5-year claim. I know many couples who have been together 20+ years. I know about six couples who have been together for almost 50 years. A committed relationship between two men or women can last as long, and be as meaningful as any heterosexual relationship. Why say that a relationship like this is any less welcomed or wanted as your relationship.

You make homosexuals out to be these over-sexed people who just can’t seem to get enough. You claim that homosexuals will have hundreds of partners over time. What about heterosexuals? How come you fail to note that a current trend amongst heterosexual children is to have many sexual partners. I know of many who have had 100’s of partners before they are 25. So stop using the old worn-out claims against homosexuals. We are all around you. You may not know it, but you are surrounded by gay men and women every day of your life. We strive to live normal healthy lives just like you. We have real long-lasting and committed relationships just as you do. Many of us even have families with children that grow up to be normal and happy just like yours.

The problems you state in your letter are true for all people, heterosexual or homosexual. When people like you come to accept the fact that gay people are here and are not going away, we will have happy and safe relationships with everyone. There will be less hate and misunderstands, and our personal relationships will grow. Organizations like Exodus International and Love Won Out only do more harm and damage, than good. There is no such thing as a former homosexual. Either you are a homosexual or heterosexual. Not formerly anything.

We only ask for love and understanding, and hopefully one day you will see how wrong you are about homosexuals. We are not to be feared, but welcomed and accepted. Our lives are not something that need to be reformed or changed through radical Christian groups that cause harm. Please stop using G-d’s love and His words to hate, and start using them to love and welcome all people. Stop using a beautiful thing for hateful actions. Gay people are healthy, loving, and faithful people, just as you are. One day I hope you come to understand this.

Jase ;0)

Jason P. Ruel
Gay Lesbian Editor